Double-Decker

[Ken4155]

Policeman; "I'm sorry sir but it looks as if your wife has been hit by a bus."
Man; "I'm aware of that but she does have a great personality."

Dentist warns his patient; "I'm afraid this is going to be rather painful for you."
Patient; "That's okay, i can handle it."
The dentist sighs; "For the past 3 months i've been having an affair with your wife."

What's invisible and smells of worms? A bird's fart.

Little Red Riding Hood is walking through the woods when she hears a rustling noise coming from behind a bush. Parting the branches, she finds herself facing the Big Bad Wolf.
"Oh Big Bad Wolf, why do you have such huge red eyes?"
"Go away," says the wolf, "I'm having a crap."

Husband and wife having a meal at a very nice restaurant when wife spills some sauce on her top.
"Oh no, i look like a pig" she says.
Her husband nods "And you've spilled some sauce on your top, too."

Wife; "I think the new dryer is shrinking my clothes."
Husband; "No honey, that was the fridge."

"Dad, what's an alcoholic?"
"See those 4 trees, son. An alcoholic would see 8 trees."
"Er, dad, there's only 2 trees there."

I was sitting in my local the other day when two very large ladies came in talking in a strange accent.
"Are you two ladies from Ireland?" i asked them.
"It's Wales, dumbo!" one of hem spat.
"Okay, are you two whales from Ireland?"

[Spicerack]

Who hasn't had the 4 trees 2 trees conversation?

[Patsy33]

:-))