A Few

[Shaglene]

I wouldn’t say they were posh, but the toilet coughed before it flushed.

I wouldn’t say my wife’s ugly, but the milkman flirts with me.

When I was a child, I had wax in my ears. Dad didn’t take me to the doctor, he used me as a night light.

I went to the doctor and asked for something for persistent wind. He gave me a kite.

My mother-in-law has so many wrinkles, when she smiles she looks like a Venetian blind.

I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, Six should be enough."

I went to a small guest house. The manager said, 'You want a room with running water? I said, 'What do you think I am? A trout?'

My father drank so heavily, when he blew on the birthday cake he lit the candles.