Smiles

[maggiebee]

A list of eight jokes (probably)only Scots would understand:

1. A Glasgow woman goes to the dentist and settles down in the chair.
"Comfy?" asks the dentist.
"Govan," she replies.

2. How many Spanish guys does it take to change a light bulb?
Just Juan.

3.Did you hear about the lonely prisoner?
He was in his cell.

4. After announcing he was getting married, a boy tells his pal he will be wearing the kilt.
"And what's the tartan?" asks his mate.
"Oh, she'll be wearing a white dress," he replies.

5. Ten cows in a field. Which one is closest to Iraq?
Coo eight.

6. A teenage girl phones her dad at midnight and says: "Can you come and get me? I've missed the last bus and it's pouring with rain."
"Okay," says her dad. "Where are you ringing from?"
The girl replies: "From the top of my head right down to my knickers".

7. What did the Siamese twins from Glasgow call their autobiography?
Oor Wullie.

8. A man takes a pair of shoes back to the shop and complains that there is a lace missing.
"No", argues the assistant, "look at that - it says Taiwan"

[Hopkirk]

Love them, and I got them.
(I did live in Scotland for a while, so I got my ear in)

[Hopkirk]

Oh, except the 'oor Wullie' one.

[piggynose]

I was at Parkheed many years ago, and I wasn't sure if I was late or early so I asked a local in my best weegie accent " whats the team?" And he started off with latchford in goal, and mcgrain at full back. I had to point at my wrist, "oh he replied half part two"

[piggynose]

Come on hoppy, does Maggie have draw a picture? Lol

[piggynose]

*past