Sex Shop
A little old lady shuffles into a sex shop, she very slowly and shakily makes her way over to the counter.
The guy serving is sure that she's made a mistake and come into the wrong shop, however, once at the counter she grabs hold of it to steady herself and looks up at the young man, "Ddddoo yooou sseell Dddiildoos?" she asked in a very quivery voice, "Yes madam" he answers, "Ddooo yoouu have a ppinnk one, aaabboout tteenn iincchess llonngg, aaanndd ffoour iinncheess thiicck?" "Yes Mam, would you like me to show you one?"
"Nnnooo tthhankk yyoouu, jjuusst ttell mmee hhooww ttoo tturrn tthee sssonnoofabbitch oooff"
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Another lady went into the sex shop to buy a vibrator
"What size would you like?" asks the assistant
"That red one there looks about the right size." says the woman.
"You cant have that one i am afraid." says the assistant. "That's our fire extinquisher."
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