Dad Joke Of The Day

[Hopkirk]

My wife said she would leave if I didn't get treatment for my obsession with Neil Diamond.
"I am" I said.

[johnny.5]

My wife said she was leaving me because of my obsession with The Monkees,

I thought she was joking.

And then I saw her face...

[bobbinwales]

So are you now 'a solitary man?'

[johnny.5]

My wife left me due to my obsession with Dusty Springfield.




Now I just don’t know what to do with myself

[mallyh]

so your love is on the rocks x

[mallyh]

is her name Caroline i bet when you said you were getting treatment she said so good so good so good x

[bobbinwales]

My wife left me because she said I was obsessed with Justin beiber. I said 'what do you mean?....but ' is it to late now to saY sorry?'

[murraymints]

snigger.. guess your "love is on the rocks"

[1ozzy]

What's the most popular song in mental asylums?


" Do you see what I see "

[Tubbycoates]

Not only are these Dad jokes not funny, but this unfunny joke was put on last week by someone else.

[mallyh]

Tubbycoates that's the whole point of dad jokes, why not join in the fun with a daft answer x

[Tubbycoates]

If you think this is fun, I feel sorry for you.

[maggiebee]

Tubbycoates, humour is subjective!

[Ken4155]

Ignore Tubby, she has 'form' re dad jokes:-( Though why she continues to read them....................?

[jno]

unfair that there aren't any Mum jokes around.

How about: The storm's blown off a quarter of my roof.

Oof!

[maggiebee]

"What did mommy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web."

[Hazlinny]

^^ Like it!

[maggiebee]

I walked into my house to find my wife gone and a note nailed to the wall.
"We have your wife; if you want to see her alive we want £500,000. Do not contact The Police, we are very determined."
They weren't joking about being determined...I've had 36 missed calls from them!

[jno]

I came home and found a note from my wife on the fridge door: "This isn't working, I've gone home to Mum". Funny, I looked inside and the fridge was working perfectly.

[Ken4155]

Your mum's so stupid, she puts lipstick on her forehead to make up her mind. She opens the door to let the clutch out. Your mum's so ugly her portraits hang themselves.

[Patsy33]

I'm not surprised.
He's forever in blue jeans.
He needs to change!