And There's More

[Rondy]

My careers officer in school asked me "what job can you see yourself doing?"
I said "mirror inspector"

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A vicar visits a dentist for a new set of teeth. The first Sunday after he gets his new teeth he preaches for only eight minutes.
The second Sunday he preaches for only ten minutes.
The following Sunday he preaches for two hours and forty eight minutes.
The congregation had to pull him down from the pulpit and asked him what had happened.
The vicar explained that on the first week his gums hurt so bad he could only manage eight minutes. The second Sunday his gums hurt so he could only manage ten minutes.
But the third Sunday he put in his wife's teeth as a mistake and couldn't stop talking.

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My new years resolution was to eat more locally grown produce…
However this has been scuppered by my neighbours new year resolution to build a bigger fence between our gardens!

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They've made a popular movie about people who've had their tongues removed,
but I think it's tasteless.

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My girlfriend asked me what I was doing on the computer last night ! I told her I was looking for cheap flights ... She got all excited & said “ I love you “ and we had the most amazing sex !
Which is Odd because she has never shown an interest in Darts before !!

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[Patsy33]

😆