A Few More

[Rondy]

An office employee knowing his boss was off for the day transferred the office telephone to his own mobile phone and took it with him to play golf.
The boss called and asked how everything was going at the office and the employee said fine.
The boss then said, "Move a little faster then, will you, I'm in the foursome on the green behind you."

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I have to replace a light bulb in my garage ceiling.
I’ll probably screw it up.

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WIFE on phone:"You left before I finished speaking. I wanted you to go to Holland & Barrett for me. Where are you?"
ME:"Holland.

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I saw a contractor's truck that offered free quotes.
So I asked for one.
He said, "To be or not to be, that is the question."

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I walked out of my job at the helium balloon factory.
I won't be spoken to in that tone of voice.

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It’s my wife’s birthday soon and she’s been leaving jewelry catalogs all over the house.
She'll be happy to know I got the hint.
I got her a new magazine rack!

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A boy was taking care of his baby sister while his parents went to town shopping. He decided to go fishing and he had to take her along.
"I'll never do that again!" he told his mother that evening. "I didn't catch a thing!"
"Oh, next time I'm sure she'll be quiet and not scare the fish away," his mother said.
The boy said, "It wasn't that. She ate all the bait."

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