Crosswords1 min ago
A Few More
I applied for a personal loan and they asked what its for.
I said "It's personal."
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The instructions for the chicken goujons said "Turn halfway through cooking".
Now I'm facing away from the oven and can't tell if they're ready!
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My elderly neighbour just reached 110
Thats the last time i get in a car with her!
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Had a stroke of luck this morning.
Took my old Chinese Microwave to be valued at the local Auctioneers.
Turns out it dates back to the Ping Dynasty.
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I saw a golf buggy parked in the disabled bay, I thought I wonder what his handicap is?
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Did you know, 18% of men like women with big thighs ...11% of men like women with skinny thighs ..all the rest just like something in between.
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Just downloaded the soundtrack of Titanic,its syncing at the moment.
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Police have raided a factory producing thousands of counterfeit Kipling products. A Police spokesman said " They're exceedingly good fakes"
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Just been to the opticians to get my eyes tested and you'll never guess who I bumped into whilst I was there..
... everyone!
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