Crosswords0 min ago
Wife from hell?
A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says "I clocked you going at 90 miles per hour, sir."
The driver says "Really? Officer, I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your speed gun needs calibrating."
Not looking up from her magazine, the wife says: "Now don't be silly dear, you know this car doesn't have cruise control."
As the driver writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, "can't you keep your mouth shut for once?" The wife smiles demurely and says "you should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did, or you'd have been caught going faster!"
The driver replies, "will you please keep quiet?"
The officer frowns and says, "I notice you're not wearing your seatbelt, that's an automatic fine."
The driver says "yeah, well, you see officer; I had it on but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my licence out of my back pocket." The wife says "Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seatbelt on � you never wear your seatbelt when you're driving."
As the police officer is writing out a second ticket, the driver turns o his wife and shouts "WHY DON'T YOU KEEP YOUR BL*%DY MOUTH SHUT??"
The officer looks over at the woman and asks "does your husband always talk to you this way Ma'am?"
She replies��.
"Only when he's been drinking."
The driver says "Really? Officer, I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your speed gun needs calibrating."
Not looking up from her magazine, the wife says: "Now don't be silly dear, you know this car doesn't have cruise control."
As the driver writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, "can't you keep your mouth shut for once?" The wife smiles demurely and says "you should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did, or you'd have been caught going faster!"
The driver replies, "will you please keep quiet?"
The officer frowns and says, "I notice you're not wearing your seatbelt, that's an automatic fine."
The driver says "yeah, well, you see officer; I had it on but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my licence out of my back pocket." The wife says "Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seatbelt on � you never wear your seatbelt when you're driving."
As the police officer is writing out a second ticket, the driver turns o his wife and shouts "WHY DON'T YOU KEEP YOUR BL*%DY MOUTH SHUT??"
The officer looks over at the woman and asks "does your husband always talk to you this way Ma'am?"
She replies��.
"Only when he's been drinking."
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