how hammered...?

[Whickerman]

A man had been chugging down whiskey all night when the bartender called out, "Okay, people the bar's closing." So the man slurped down the last drink, stood up to leave and fell flat on his face. He tried to stand one more time; same result. He figured he'd crawl outside - hopefully the fresh air would sober him up.

Once outside he stood up and again fell flat on his face again. So he began to crawl the block home. When he finally arrived at the door he stood up and again fell flat on his face. He crawled though the door and into his bedroom. When he reached his bed he tried one more time to stand up. This time he managed to pull himself upright, but he quickly fell right into bed and was sound asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

The next morning his wife prodded him awake and said, "So, you've been out drinking again,huh? "What makes you say that?" he asked, puttting on an innocent look. "The barman called - you left your wheelchair there again!"