Lying Policeman

[johnlambert]

: A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and the following exchange take place:

Officer: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th Drunk Driving conviction.

Officer: May I see the log book for this vehicle?
Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.

Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the log book in the glove compartment when I was putting my gun in there.

Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes officer. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the boot.

Officer: There's a BODY in the BOOT?!?!?
Driver: Yes, sir.

Hearing this, the officer immediately called for armed backup. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the inspector approached the driver to handle the tense situation:

Inspector: Sir, can I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here it is.
It was valid.

Inspector: Who's car is this?
Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the log book.
The driver owned the car.

Inspector: Could you slowly open your glove compartment so I can see if there's a gun in it?
Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it. Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.

Inspector: Would you mind opening your boot? I was told you said there's a body in it.
Driver: No problem.
Boot is opened; no body.

Inspector: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glove box, and that there was a dead body in the boot.

Driver: Yeah, I'll bet the lying *** told you I was speeding, too!

[whiffey]

Was the bloke trying to get off a charge of speeding ? It seems a bit of a long-winded way of doing it.

[stewey]

Excellent..............I'm going to use it!

[johnlambert]

What stewey??, not to get off with a speeding charge????

[stewey]

The joke, that is, not the speeding excuse!

[whiffey]

Yes, but what if there was a body in the boot ? That'd be far worse than a speeding fine.

[johnlambert]

Whiffey, you can remove the body from the boot and squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeze it into the ashtray, the police would never think to look in there since the smoking ban

[stewey]

But what if the body in the boot wasn't quite dead yet? The guy could claim that he was speeding, post-haste, to the nearest hospital in order to get bandages and stuff.

[whiffey]

If you are going to drive around with a gun, it is sensible also to have a membership card of a rifle club, or a firearms certificate. This bloke was taking the pee.

[Dolly1308]

This is an old joke John and as such should be in the Jokes section ,still had a laugh at it .

[topogigo]

Why do some people feel the need to criticise anything that has perhaps a grey area, or just something they don't find amusing or interesting? Why don't these awful creeps just not say anything if they don't like it and move on to something they do? Or is it that they are frustrated at their lack of social skills and must grasp at any opportunity to have a pop at someone hiding behind the anonimity of the answerbank. Personally they don't bother me, but i do think it is my duty to have a go at them on behalf of those that they seek to humilliate.