What You Never Want To Hear From Your Girlfriend

[pedigreechum]

In the style of Mock The Week....

I'll start...

1. Is it in yet?

2. Do you mind if Stefan joins us in the bedroom?

3. This is my dad.....call him Shona

Give us your best....

[China Doll]

Oh how cute, another belly button.

The last operation really reduced my Adam's Apple.

I never put anything in my mouth that hasn't been boiled first.

Can I borrow your credit card?

I call this teddy Tinkerbell...

My husband is a sumo wrestler

You're my little fluffywuffyhoneybuneysweetiepie

I've stopped your subscription to Sky Sports.

I think I'm going to go au-natural under my arms these days.

[johnlambert]

Where shall we hold the wedding?

[nutgoneflake]

Could you move your shoulder a bit - I can't see the TV.

[China Doll]

I use a website called Answer Bank on a regular basis and my name is.... (<<< Insert name of most hated pixel)

[blahdiblah]

after a couple of dates - what shall we name our kids?

[China Doll]

I've booked you in for a back, sack and crack.

[Pippa68]

I love cushions

Do you prefer the peach paint..or the apricot?

[johnlambert]

Don't panic, I'n only a couple of weeks late, although my periods are normally regular as clockwork

[Psychick]

My mum is coming on the honeymoon with us.

[johnlambert]

Maybe I shouldn't have eaten all that spicy food before getting into bed
parrrrrrrrrrrrrp
*wafts duvet up and down*

[DJerba]

I'm having an affair...with your mother

[Pippa68]

I think I am going off sex..

[pedigreechum]

when i agreed to teabagging I thought I was going to get a nice hot brew!

[Psychick]

I cant beleive I didnt have time to take my knickers off!

[johnlambert]

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
you will, but not tea lol

[China Doll]

Simarly...

That's not the kind of snowballing I meant darling...

[DJerba]

I've been practicing watersports...with the dog

[johnlambert]

My last boyfriend was soo big it hurt me, yours isn't big is it?

[China Doll]

Hands DJerba a medal

I can't best that effort!

[DJerba]

I take it thats not your thong in the glove box?!