Crosswords0 min ago
lifes lottery
A man who hasn't a penny to his name finds a pound on the pavement. He goes into a pub, buys half pint lager and puts the 10p change in a fruit machine and wins the �100 jackpot. His best mate walks into the pub and says, "Here, I thought you were skint?"
The man says, "You won't believe it! I was down to my last pound, I bought half a pint and put the 10p change in the fruit machine and won the jackpot!"
His mate suggests that he's on a role and advises him to buy a lottery ticket on his way home. The man follows his mates advice. When he gets home he checks his ticket and sure enough he's won the jackpot.
He rings his mate and says, "You won't believe it, I've won the lottery, I'm a multi-millionaire!!!"
His mate says that if there was anything he wanted then today was the day to try his luck. So the man mentions the fact that he has always fancied the Asian girl down the street.
His mate says, "Go for it, what have you got to lose."
So the man goes to her house and knocks on the door. When she answers the man says, " I'm sorry for being so forward but I've fancied you for ages."
The Asian girl says, "That's nice, come in for a cup of tea." They have tea and a chat and after a while the girl says, "I suppose you'd like to go to bed now?"
He replies, "Ooh yes please."
They go to bed, but the man is not performing very well. So the Asian girl says, "What is it, have you gone off me?"
He replies, "No, not at all, I fancy you like mad, it's just that little red dot on your forehead (bindi), it's really putting me off."
The girl says, " If that's all it is, rub it off."
So he rubs it off and says, "F**k me you won't believe this, I've won a car.
The man says, "You won't believe it! I was down to my last pound, I bought half a pint and put the 10p change in the fruit machine and won the jackpot!"
His mate suggests that he's on a role and advises him to buy a lottery ticket on his way home. The man follows his mates advice. When he gets home he checks his ticket and sure enough he's won the jackpot.
He rings his mate and says, "You won't believe it, I've won the lottery, I'm a multi-millionaire!!!"
His mate says that if there was anything he wanted then today was the day to try his luck. So the man mentions the fact that he has always fancied the Asian girl down the street.
His mate says, "Go for it, what have you got to lose."
So the man goes to her house and knocks on the door. When she answers the man says, " I'm sorry for being so forward but I've fancied you for ages."
The Asian girl says, "That's nice, come in for a cup of tea." They have tea and a chat and after a while the girl says, "I suppose you'd like to go to bed now?"
He replies, "Ooh yes please."
They go to bed, but the man is not performing very well. So the Asian girl says, "What is it, have you gone off me?"
He replies, "No, not at all, I fancy you like mad, it's just that little red dot on your forehead (bindi), it's really putting me off."
The girl says, " If that's all it is, rub it off."
So he rubs it off and says, "F**k me you won't believe this, I've won a car.
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