ChatterBank0 min ago
Limericks - know any good ones?
There was a man called Eugene
who created a w@nking machine
a piston broke
on the seventh stroke
and his balls got whipped into cream
who created a w@nking machine
a piston broke
on the seventh stroke
and his balls got whipped into cream
Answers
1 to 18 of 18
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A Policeman from Nottingham Junction,
whose organ had long ceased to function,
deceived his good wife,
for the rest of her life,
by cleverly using his truncheon.
Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard,
to fetch her poor doggy her bone,
but as she bent over,
along came old Rover,
and gave her a bone of his own.
A Cricket supporter called Rees,
watched the game with his girlfriend Denise,
but the South Yorkshire league,
never held the intrigue,
of his bat and two balls at her crease.
On the t1t$ of a barmaid at Yale
Was printed the prices of Ale,
And on her behind,
For the sake of the blind...
Was the same information in braille.
whose organ had long ceased to function,
deceived his good wife,
for the rest of her life,
by cleverly using his truncheon.
Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard,
to fetch her poor doggy her bone,
but as she bent over,
along came old Rover,
and gave her a bone of his own.
A Cricket supporter called Rees,
watched the game with his girlfriend Denise,
but the South Yorkshire league,
never held the intrigue,
of his bat and two balls at her crease.
On the t1t$ of a barmaid at Yale
Was printed the prices of Ale,
And on her behind,
For the sake of the blind...
Was the same information in braille.
-- answer removed --
There was a young man called Dave
who kept a dead ***** in a cave
he said "I admit, i'm a bit of a sh1t,
but think of the money i'll save!"
There was a young girl from the Azores
who's f4nny was covered in sores
and the dogs in the street
wouldn't eat the green meat
that hung in festoons from her drawers
There was a young girl from West falia
who painted her tw4t like a dahlia
it was all very well at a penny a smell
but tuppence a lick was a failure
There was a young man from Nantucket
whose d1ck was so long he could suck it
he said with a grin, wiping sp*nk from his chin
if my ear was a c*nt i could f*ck it
who kept a dead ***** in a cave
he said "I admit, i'm a bit of a sh1t,
but think of the money i'll save!"
There was a young girl from the Azores
who's f4nny was covered in sores
and the dogs in the street
wouldn't eat the green meat
that hung in festoons from her drawers
There was a young girl from West falia
who painted her tw4t like a dahlia
it was all very well at a penny a smell
but tuppence a lick was a failure
There was a young man from Nantucket
whose d1ck was so long he could suck it
he said with a grin, wiping sp*nk from his chin
if my ear was a c*nt i could f*ck it
There was a cow from Huddersfield
and that cow, it would not yield
The reason why it would not yield?
it didn't like it's udders feeled
The was a bohemian monk
who went to sleep in a bunk
he dreamt that Venus
was sucking his.....
Elbow
and woke up and all covered in.....
Perspiration
There was a young lady from Ealing
who had a most peculiar feeling
she lay on her back
and opened her crack
and p1$$ed all over the ceiling
May had a little lamb
it's wool all white and wispy
but then it caught foot and mouth
and now it's black and crispy
Mary had a little lamb
it walked into a pylon
10 000 volts went up it's 4rse
and turned it's wool to nylon
and that cow, it would not yield
The reason why it would not yield?
it didn't like it's udders feeled
The was a bohemian monk
who went to sleep in a bunk
he dreamt that Venus
was sucking his.....
Elbow
and woke up and all covered in.....
Perspiration
There was a young lady from Ealing
who had a most peculiar feeling
she lay on her back
and opened her crack
and p1$$ed all over the ceiling
May had a little lamb
it's wool all white and wispy
but then it caught foot and mouth
and now it's black and crispy
Mary had a little lamb
it walked into a pylon
10 000 volts went up it's 4rse
and turned it's wool to nylon
There was an old man from Kent
Whose tool was all battered and bent
So to save himself trouble
He put it in double
And instead of coming he went.
There was a young lass from Baroda
Who lived in a Chinese pagoda
The walls of the halls
Were decked with the balls
Of the tools of the fools who bestrode her.
Whose tool was all battered and bent
So to save himself trouble
He put it in double
And instead of coming he went.
There was a young lass from Baroda
Who lived in a Chinese pagoda
The walls of the halls
Were decked with the balls
Of the tools of the fools who bestrode her.
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