Limericks - know any good ones?

[Squitty]

There was a man called Eugene
who created a w@nking machine
a piston broke
on the seventh stroke
and his balls got whipped into cream

[mrs_overall]

There once was a person called Squitty
Who lived near a very big city.
His limericks were poor
So I showed him the door
But smiled at him out of pity.

ok, so it's rubbish, but it only took me 30 secs to compose

[knobbynonuty]

There once was a pr1ck called whiffey
Who once tried to find his little clittey.

He came in a rush.
On his toothbrush.
And now they call him.

Newsdesk

[Squitty]

A lady from leeds wanted money
so covered her pu$$y in honey
at 5p a smell
it was all going well
but 10p a lick made it runny

[Stephen_G]

A Policeman from Nottingham Junction,
whose organ had long ceased to function,
deceived his good wife,
for the rest of her life,
by cleverly using his truncheon.

Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard,
to fetch her poor doggy her bone,
but as she bent over,
along came old Rover,
and gave her a bone of his own.

A Cricket supporter called Rees,
watched the game with his girlfriend Denise,
but the South Yorkshire league,
never held the intrigue,
of his bat and two balls at her crease.

On the t1t$ of a barmaid at Yale
Was printed the prices of Ale,
And on her behind,
For the sake of the blind...
Was the same information in braille.

[gonzo00]

there was a young man called reg
who went with a girl in a hedge
along came his wife
with a big carving knife
and cut off his meat and two veg

[sophie_1003]

courtesy of Spike Milligan (sorry if there are any mistakes!)-
There once was a man from Siberia
Who as a father was rather inferior
A quick operation
Resolved the situation
And now he's a mother superior

[topogigo]

There was a young man called Dave
who kept a dead ***** in a cave
he said "I admit, i'm a bit of a sh1t,
but think of the money i'll save!"

There was a young girl from the Azores
who's f4nny was covered in sores
and the dogs in the street
wouldn't eat the green meat
that hung in festoons from her drawers

There was a young girl from West falia
who painted her tw4t like a dahlia
it was all very well at a penny a smell
but tuppence a lick was a failure

There was a young man from Nantucket
whose d1ck was so long he could suck it
he said with a grin, wiping sp*nk from his chin
if my ear was a c*nt i could f*ck it

[spaced]

There was a man from Golloshum
WHo pulled his balls to wash'em
His mother Said "jack, if you dont put em back....
...I'll get the sledge hammer and squash'em!"

[Avatar]

There was a young lady from Leeds
Who swallowed a packet of seeds
Now blades of grass
grow out her 4rse
and her f4nny's all covered in weeds.

[JonnyBoy12]

There was a young man called Frank,
Who searched for sex on the site "Answer Bank"
He said "I'm right out of luck,
In my search for a f*ck,
I'll just have to content myself with a W*nk"!

[rabbitygirl]

A worried lad from Istanbul
Discovered red marks on his tool.
Said the doctor, a cynic,
Get out of my clinic
And wipe off the lipstick you fool.

[Trojanfarce]

There was a cow from Huddersfield
and that cow, it would not yield
The reason why it would not yield?
it didn't like it's udders feeled

The was a bohemian monk
who went to sleep in a bunk
he dreamt that Venus
was sucking his.....
Elbow
and woke up and all covered in.....
Perspiration

There was a young lady from Ealing
who had a most peculiar feeling
she lay on her back
and opened her crack
and p1$$ed all over the ceiling

May had a little lamb
it's wool all white and wispy
but then it caught foot and mouth
and now it's black and crispy

Mary had a little lamb
it walked into a pylon
10 000 volts went up it's 4rse
and turned it's wool to nylon

[frankleigh]

There was a young lady from Durbah
Who swore that no man would kurb her
But a man from Khartoum
Knocked the top off her womb
With an 18 inch kidney disturber

[Kirkpatrick]

A scientist born in Rhyl
Consumed an Atomic pill
His genital organ
was found in Glamorgan
His nuts up a tree in Brazil

There was a young lady called Hilda
Who had an affair with a builder
She said that he could, if he would
And he should, and he did
And he bloody near killed 'er

[Kirkpatrick]

There was an old man from Kent
Whose tool was all battered and bent
So to save himself trouble
He put it in double
And instead of coming he went.
There was a young lass from Baroda
Who lived in a Chinese pagoda
The walls of the halls
Were decked with the balls
Of the tools of the fools who bestrode her.

[Kirkpatrick]

A schoolteacher down in Devizes
Was up at the local Assizes
For teaching the boys
Matrimonial Joys
And awarding french letters as prizes
Her brother (he too) from Devizes
Had b*lls which were differing sizes
One was so small
It was no use at all
While the other won hundreds of prizes

[opoknock]

I don't get it. So was this machine initially designed as a sexual stimulator or for actually making whipped cream?Or both?