Man Gags

[Slapshot]

1.. I was walking through the cemetery this morning and saw a guy Crouching down behind a tombstone. I said "morning." He said "no just taking a dump".

2. When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I Realised that the Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and asked him to Forgive me.

3. My girlfriend was in labor with our first child. She was shouting out "get this out of me? Give me the drugs." She looked at me and said, "You did This to me you *******!" I casually replied, "If you would care to remember, I wanted to stick your rear but you said, "it'll be too painful."

4. I went to an extremely attractive female doctor today for my annual Checkup. She told me that I had to quit masturbating. I asked why and she told me, "because I am trying to examine you."

5. I was walking down the road today and saw my Afghani neighbor, Abdul, standing on his fifth floor apartment balcony shaking a carpet.
I shouted up to him, "What's up Abdul, won't it start?"

[carlton23]

Excellent lol

[marval]

lol very good

[Slapshot]

Don't know bout that, I'm a Scotsman!!

[Everhelpful]

Funny as a broken leg except,the Abdul carpet one was funny.