A TRIP TO ASDA

[McMouse]

Yesterday I was at my local ASDA buying a large bag of Purina dog food for my loyal pet, Biscuit, the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's ar se and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.

ASDA won't let me shop there anymore.

[AB Editor]

Superb.

Spare Ed

[mccfluff]

love it

[lucca]

That's a real cracker. If only I had the nerve to do something like that!

[janzman]

That is observational humour worthy of the greats all the the way from Shelley Berhman via Robin Williams to Michael Macintyre

[albaqwerty]

pmsl you're a genius, evil but still a genius

[Avatar]

It doesnt take genius to post a joke you've heard elsewhere. And its not observational really because its unlikely in Britain anyway, for anyone in a checkout queue to actually speak to another person.
It is however a good joke.

[craft1948]

Nice one McMouse.......very funny......