Private Eye 794 Short Time On Start Of...
Crosswords1 min ago
the oldies are the best ones..lol
I get on extremely well with the lesbians next door.
They asked me what I would like for my birthday.
I was stunned when they gave me a Rolex.
It was very nice of them, but I think they misunderstood me when I said,
"I wanna watch."
---
Honestly some folk will take offence at anything.
I met a bloke with no legs this morning while at the bus stop and all I
asked was "How are you getting on?"
---
Paddy was in the delivery room when the midwife handed him a black baby
"Is this yours?" she asked.
"Probably." said Paddy "She burns everything else!"
---
My missus has just gone into hospital with two black eyes and a broken
jaw.
It seems we were on different wavelengths when she said she wanted
decking on the patio.
---
S*x therapists claim that the most effective way to arouse your man is
to spend 10 minutes licking his ears!!
Personally I think it's botox!!
---
They reckon that Beer contains female hormones and I think they are
right.
After 8 pints I talk sh*t and can't drive!
They asked me what I would like for my birthday.
I was stunned when they gave me a Rolex.
It was very nice of them, but I think they misunderstood me when I said,
"I wanna watch."
---
Honestly some folk will take offence at anything.
I met a bloke with no legs this morning while at the bus stop and all I
asked was "How are you getting on?"
---
Paddy was in the delivery room when the midwife handed him a black baby
"Is this yours?" she asked.
"Probably." said Paddy "She burns everything else!"
---
My missus has just gone into hospital with two black eyes and a broken
jaw.
It seems we were on different wavelengths when she said she wanted
decking on the patio.
---
S*x therapists claim that the most effective way to arouse your man is
to spend 10 minutes licking his ears!!
Personally I think it's botox!!
---
They reckon that Beer contains female hormones and I think they are
right.
After 8 pints I talk sh*t and can't drive!
Answers
1 to 13 of 13
Best Answer
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What's the difference between Basil Brush and a Terrorist with a
rucksack?
The Terrorist with a rucksack only goes "Boom" once.
---
A mate of mine has just told me he's shagging his girlfriend and her
twin.
I said "How can you tell them apart?" He said "Her brother's got a
moustache!"
---
A biker goes to the doctor with hearing problems.
"Can you describe the symptoms to me?" asked the doctor.
"Yes. Homer is a fat yellow lazy b@st@rd and Marge is a skinny bird with
big blue hair."
rucksack?
The Terrorist with a rucksack only goes "Boom" once.
---
A mate of mine has just told me he's shagging his girlfriend and her
twin.
I said "How can you tell them apart?" He said "Her brother's got a
moustache!"
---
A biker goes to the doctor with hearing problems.
"Can you describe the symptoms to me?" asked the doctor.
"Yes. Homer is a fat yellow lazy b@st@rd and Marge is a skinny bird with
big blue hair."
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-- answer removed --
-- answer removed --
1 to 13 of 13
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