Two owls

[marval]

Two owls are sat having a beer in a pub. One turns to the other and says, "By the way, I got married last week".
The second one says, "You twit, to who?"

[askyourgran]

I liked that.
How about,: A man goes into a pub, orders a pint and then proceeds to take out a small piano and a piano seat out of his pocket, and put them on the bar, he then takes out a little man about a foot tall out of his other pocket,who sits at the piano and plays beautiful music all night. The pub becomes packed and all the customers are delighted and leave money on the bar for the little man. At the end of the evening the landlord says to the man "That was a really good evening, tell me how did you come by this little fellow. "Well" said the man "It was an accident really, I found a bottle and opened it and out popped a genie who said he would grant me anything I wanted, but I think he must have been deaf, I didn;t really ask for a twelve in pianist".

[marval]

Thank you, I like yours askyourgran

[scakebread]

So why is a desperate spinster like an owl?

To wit... to woo

[marval]

What do confused owls say? To-whit to-why?

[askyourgran]

Desperate - to whit to when

[oscarina]

Why didn't the courting owls go out in the rain! It was too wet to woo

[marval]

What sits in a tree and says "Hoots mon, hoots mon?"
A Scottish owl.

[mushroom25]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z7Ymov6JhRE
;-)

[marval]

Thank you, that takes me back