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would you concider this fair? in The AnswerBank: Family & Relationships
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would you concider this fair?

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lotsafun | 17:01 Sat 12th Jun 2010 | Family & Relationships
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my son whos 9 got into a fight yesterday with another lad of 10 years of age. Both my son and witnesses say that this boy was picking on my son for some time and then my son 'lost it' with him. He hit him in the face which resulted in him ''breaking his glasses''. The boy kicked my son in his groin area and ran down to his house with his glasses in hand. His mother then came up to have a go and to show us the damage to her boys face (he had a scratch on the bridge of his nose), yet she didnt bring the supposed broken glasses with her. My son admitted he hit him on the face but had no knowledge of breaking his glasses however we took this womens word for it and given the fact that my son consequently started the fight, had arranged to pay for the repairs and also apologised. May i add that there was no apology from this boy for calling my son names and kicking him in his balls.. Weve grounded our son and has said that in order to pay for the repairs he is going to have to sell his nintendo ds and games to raise funds. We know this may seem harsh to some but we believe that you always have to be accountable for your actions regarless of your age and he has to apprieciate that things do cost money etc. Anyway the boys mother came up this morning with the bill for the glasses and it was a staggering £220! Rather than get reapirs done apparently cost about £50 she has taken advantage of a buy 1 get 1 free deal at tesco and has ordered designer frames etc. I pointed out that under no curcumstances will ve be paying for designer frames as i would not buy designer things for myself let alone someone else, and that if she wants her son to wear them then so be it on her head so to speak. but i did say i would pay for the lens as she said my son broke them. (im still to se evidence of this though) . however i feel she has taken advantage of the situation by buying new ones whereas she couldve just got them repaired . WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
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i wouldn't pay it. At ten there are plenty of free frames suitable enough and I bet that's what he had before. By the way, an nhs voucher lets you repair a childs glasses for free repeatedly. she's taking advantage of you.
I would not pay,she is taking advantage of you and your son.
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D o you know what i did actually wonder that myself, when my son had his reading glasses they were free and was told any problems and it would be free to fix etc. Obviously this boy had designer frames to start with and thats wht there costing money to fix. Personally i think its ridiculous to give any child deigner glasses to go out and play in but there you go, each to there own i suppose!
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sorry i forgot to say that she did eventually back down and agree that i souldnt pay for the frames but i should pay for the lens at a cost of £75.00. is this the going rate for kids lens's?
ask to see the bill, then you'll know
She is taking the mickey.
She thinks that because you have done the correct thing (debatable but understandable), you are some sort of pushover.
Firmly tell her that you find £220 to be an outrageous amount; have £ 50 in your hand (if you are determined to do so) and tell her to put it towards her Specsavers bill.
No way in hell i would pay it. I would pay for the damage on the glasses and thats it. its he choice to replace them and take advantage of offers. I would also to ask her to get a seperate bill to show the cost of the repairs.
Tell her you're going to take your son to a private specialist on account as to where her son kicked yours, and she's got to pay. Kids glass - in fact anybody's glasses are strong, and IF (which I VERY much doubt your son did break them by hitting him in the face,) there would have certainly been a lot more damage than just a scratch on his nose. Tell her you've chatted to witnesses, and all say your son was provoked, and this this time YOU are willing to over look the matter. Any further bullying by her son in future and you won't hesitate to call the police.
It might be useful to say that as you will need to make an insurance claim to pay this bill, then you will need to cite the evidence so need to see and photograph the broken specs. If then it does have to come off your house insurance (whose property dod it occur on?) then at least you are not paying out personally. And at the same time say you need to get your kids family jewels checked over, which may have a cost implication that she will have to meet. Then sit back and see what.
What;s she gonna do if you don't pay? Have you arrested?
As has been said, repairs to childrens glasses are free, unless, you have chosen to pay for private things on top. We pay for my sons lenses as he has a strong prescription and we pay for thinned down lenses, these cost about £50. That means, because we have chosen to pay in the firts place, if he damages the lenses we have to pay to replace them - which as my son scratched them badly last week, we have just had to do, however, the cost to replace the one lens was £35 and would mean he was without the glasses for for 10 days. However, he is covered to get a new pair of frames even though they weren't damaged, so the cost of a full new pair was £47 as we dont have to pay for the replacement frames. Looks like she is at it to me. most opticians have plenty of choice of nice frames for kids, either free or for a nominal charge (£10-20). Not worth paying more for a 10 year old.

it would be unlikely that the glasses and frames were broken so either it would be to replace the frame which should either be free or cheap or one or more lenses, which again should be free or cheap.

Apart from all that, she has to take some of the responsibility as her son started it. I would say go 50/50, but only of what I would say was a reasonable amont - say up to £50 so £25 max for you.
Agree with all said -- call her bluff.Tell her that you are arranging a private appointment for your son to be checked out ,and that the bill for this will be coming to her.Indicate that you have witnesses to the event.
As for the glasses tell her to claim if need be on her house insurance and that it is nothing to do with you

Finally tell her that anymore aggro from her or her son you will place the matter in the hands of the police.
No wonder her son is a bully, good luck .Brenda.
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thanks guys for your replies, i printed out this page and took it to her to see what everyone has said about them being free. Shes still maintains that i owe £75 believe it not, apparently she cant have them fixed again for free as she had to take his sons glasses down 2 weeks ago because some other boy punched him in the face (bit of a pattern here, but of course its nothing to do with her little angel). She said the £75 is for the lens as she will be paying for the frames but still i think £75 seems alot!
Ive also said that my boy has been complaining of pain in his testicles after being kicked in them and im going to have to take him to the docs to be checked out, but yet again she maintains that her little angel would not have done that to anyone. God this kid is such a spoilt bratty mammys boy its unbelievable. Anyway i have given her £30 cash and told her that if she wants to take it further she can but that is all she is getting out of us ;-)
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I'd laugh at her and shut the door.
It doesn't matter how frequently her child's glasses are broken as they are fixed for free even if he breaks them every week for a year. She was still trying to con you with the latest excuse and in my opinion you should have given her £0.00 and told her where to get off!
That's right. They do get repaired for free. I had 3 kids with glasses who all had a tendency to stand on them on a weekly basis.

The problems arises when they can't be fixed. You only get 1 replacement pair a year....or use to anyway.
Im sure children under 16 get free glasses, lens' and all, my son had them to correct a wonky eye from age 2-5, sorry, but she seems to taken you for a ride, even named glasses like action man , scooby doo etc are free on the nhs, she sounds like she's ripping you for the frames (ie bench) because all lenses are free, sorry your son met him...Tell him to stay away!!!
I'm with Merciasounds on this one. Telll her you need to take your son to a specialist because of injuries her son caused to yours and tell her you want the payment for it. See how quick she shuts up then.
I definitely would not give her the money she's taking advantage!!

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