The Council for Sexual Research is currently investigating a widespread rumour that the average length of the UK male's penis is getting smaller. It seems that the average length of the un-erect (flaccid) penis is becoming less than 2 inches. The Council is asking all males in the UK to measure and record the size of their own flaccid penis. Being short of funding, and in order to cut costs in carrying out this important survey, the Council is asking all those whose flaccid penis is less than 2 inches in length to display a St George's Cross flag, either on their vehicle, or on the front of their house. This will allow volunteers to carry out a nationwide census of pr1cks from strategic points on the roadside, and in communities.