An infectious disease walks into a bar

[PokerMan]

and the barman says 'we don't serve infectious diseases in this bar.' The infectious disease says, 'well, you're a not a very good host.'

A room-temperature super conductor walks into a bar and the barman says 'we don't serve room-temperature super conductors in this bar.' So, the room-temperature super conductor leaves without putting up any resistance.

A neutrino walks into a bar and the barman says 'we don't serve neutrinos in this bar.' The neutrino says, 'that's ok - i was just passing through'.

Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar................ and doesn't.

[Answerprancer]

OIC - sorry : those were supposed to be 'sound effects' representing the sound of wind, an old church bell imagined after a joke falls flat - you obviously don't watch Shooting Stars.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h8lFPXwkNKY

[kawakiri]

doesn't.
How many quantum physicists does it take to change a light bulb?

[factor-fiction]

A maths joke:
What is green and commutes? An abelian grape.

[askyourgran]

The cat is in suspended animation.while it is in the box, neither dead nor alive Google it Joeluke.

[marval]

A BRAIN and a pair of jump leads walk into a bar. The jump leads take a seat and the brain gets the round in, but the bartender refuses to serve the brain.

"How come?" says the brain.

"Well," replies the bartender, "you're out of your head and your mate looks like he's gonna start something."

[kawakiri]

One. Two to do it, and one to renormalize the wave function.

[joeluke]

but the cat doesn't what?

[jackthehat]

Walk into a bar............

[PokerMan]

joeluke:

A neutrino (small neutral one) is an elementary particle that usually travels close to the speed of light, is electrically neutral, and is able to pass through ordinary matter almost undisturbed. This makes neutrinos extremely difficult to detect

[joeluke]

Why not?

Did he not fancy a beer?

or a saucer of milk?

[PokerMan]

see eddies post at 19:39

[PokerMan]

you do get these dont you ? you just being taking the pi55?

redman was right

[kawakiri]

A virus walks into a bar, the bartender says "We don't serve viruses in this bar"
The virus replaces the bartender and says " Now we do!"

[joeluke]

Perhaps the cat didn't walk into the bar cos the bar was empty due to the barman continually turning other potential customers away?

[kawakiri]

These jokes are turning my brian into mal(l)ow

[sophie_1003]

Where did you find these Pokerman? Love the Schrodinger's cat and room temperature super conductor ones!

[PokerMan]

hi sophie, i can't take any credit for them. theres loads of 'em on jupiterscientific.co.uk. i'd love to say they were mine..... i know it's blatant plaigarism but i thought i'd share them

[sophie_1003]

I never expect the jokes on here to be first hand and don't mind at all!