My Last Trip...

[Jemisa]

MY LAST TRIP TO Tesco's
Yesterday I was at my local Tesco buying a large bag of Purina dog
food for my loyal pet, Sam , the Wonder Dog, and was in the check-out queue
when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think, I had an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little
to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was
starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't,
because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost
3 stone before I awakened in an intensive care unit with tubes coming out
of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that
it works is, to load your trouser pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply
eat one or two every time you feel hungry.
The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to
try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in the queue
was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food
poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's ar5e and
a car hit me.

I thought the bloke behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing
so much.
Tesco's won't let me shop there anymore.

Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the
world to think of crazy things to say.

[NazNomad]

http://www.theanswerb...s/Question979538.html

[Jemisa]

Woops!! - Good job we've got someone like you Naz to keep an eye on things.

Sainsbury's and Tesco have always been rivals anyway, perhaps we'll get a

Liidle and Aldi next week. :o}

[society]

I assumed the author of this joke got irritated after the person in line behind them asked the question.

This is an old joke, I think people tailor to suit...

[wildwood]

I particularly like the improvisation of //Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's ar5e and a car hit me//

A hilarious additive I've not seen before. :-)

[askyourgran]

LOL jem that was a corker!