The AnswerBank Articles

Comparethemeerkat

Comparethemeerkat is a spoof website created by Comparethemarket as part of their marketing strategy. The website is cleverly authentic and actually allows you to compare different meerkats. Each meerkat has three attributes: size, hobby and location. Using very professional looking drop down boxes, meerkats can be sel...15:37 Mon 24th May 2010

Allotment "Jokes"

Sometimes In The AnswerBank we find a question, or set of questions, which seem to be diamonds in the rough. We enshrine these questions as articles for the sake of posterity. This however has nothing to do with quality. We have collected together all your Allotment "Jokes" out of a kind of masochism.  ...15:37 Mon 24th May 2010

Mother-In-Law Jokes

You love your mother-in-law really but you can’t resist a few little digs now and again. Here are some good ones. Goodbye Mum A couple was going out for the evening. The last thing they did was to put the cat out. The taxi arrived, and as the couple walked out of the house, the cat shoots back in. So the husban...15:37 Mon 24th May 2010

Mother’s Day Humour

If you are looking for a chuckle on Mother’s Day then look no further. Mother's Dictionary of Meanings: •    Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert. •    Feedback: The inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots. &bu...15:37 Mon 24th May 2010

Things Kids Say About Mothers

They say that out of the mouths of babes the truth comes. Well these little snippets certainly show that something comes out of children’s mouths... •    When Johnny had a new sister, he became envious of the attention she was getting. One day while his mother was nursing the baby, Johnny was...15:37 Mon 24th May 2010

The world's funniest joke - you gotta be kidding !

Dr Richard Wiseman, a University of Hertfordshire psychologist spent a year researching the definitive joke. But it's easy to see from the hugely unfunny results that this was a project back by the00:00 Thu 03rd Oct 2002

On the Oxford English Dictionary

John Simpson, Chief Editor of the Oxford English Dictionary, calls his life's work "the principal dictionary of record for the English language throughout the lifetime of all current users of the00:00 Thu 26th Sep 2002

On being separated by a common tongue

The film Gregory's Girl had subtitles when it was released in the USA. It was felt that broad Scottish accents might be too much for viewers in Poughkeepsie and Aurora. Those viewers might also have00:00 Wed 17th Jul 2002

Off the record, on the QT and very hush-hush

documanx asks 'Where does "on the QT" originate from and what does it mean ' Surprisingly, perhaps, the phrase has its origins in Victorian England. Surprising, because it has come to be00:00 Thu 13th Jun 2002

Getting down to the 'Nitty Gritty' and other nonsense.

PJB asked why the term 'nitty gritty' is taken by some as being offensive. The reason is that there are suggestions, almost certainly missplaced, that the phrase referred to the debris left in the00:00 Wed 15th May 2002

As like as chalk and cheese

jasona1976 asks: Where does the saying 'like chalk and cheese' come from The origins of the phrase can be traced back to Wiltshire, where they are quite proud of it. Farmers in the area around00:00 Wed 01st May 2002

Repent - or at least get someone else to do it for you: Sin-eaters

Q. Who, what and how A. A sin-eater was someone hired to absorb the sins of recently departed souls and thereby spare them the discomforts of Purgatory - or even Eternal Damnation, if they'd been00:00 Wed 24th Apr 2002

The Law of Averages

Q. So what is the difference between mean, median and mode A. Cast your mind back to elementary statistics in maths and you may recall that there were various different methods of calculating an00:00 Tue 23rd Apr 2002

Baise-moi veet: Risque French

Q. Baise-moi veet A. Kiss me kwik. Nothing to do with French at all, really, just a saucy seaside phrase. And let's face it, when it comes to sauciness, the Brits, especially the English, have00:00 Sat 20th Apr 2002

Drink hail!

Q. What exactly is wassailing A. It's not often used these days, and is often jocular when it is, but to wassail is to carouse. Q. How so A. The Norse ves heill (cognate with the Anglo-Saxon wes00:00 Fri 19th Apr 2002

Lant

Q. Lant A. Wee. Q. Wee A. More specifically, stale wee. Q. There is actually a specific word for stale wee A. Evidently. From the Anglo-Saxon hland, meaning, as the dictionary puts it: 'Urine,00:00 Wed 17th Apr 2002

'Zounds, sirrah. That's a minced oath, I'll warrant.'

Q. What the flip... A. Zounds - God's wounds - is a minced oath Q. A what A. A minced oath is an expletive that has been softened in order to minimise the offence it might cause. The minced bit00:00 Sat 13th Apr 2002

Habla you Spanglish

Q. Come again A. Do you speak Spanglish Spanglish is a combination of Spanish and English, rather like Franglais, which is a mixture of English and French. Q. Franglais As in the Miles Kingston00:00 Wed 10th Apr 2002

Toady

Q. So what is a toad-eater A. Originating in the 17th century, a toad-eater was a mountebank's assistant. Q. Mountebank A. An itinerant vendor of medicines. The name comes from the Italian monta00:00 Tue 09th Apr 2002

Why do we 'touch wood' for luck

Q. Well, why do we A. The expression - or something similar - is used by many people around the world, usually accompanied by the touching of a wooden item, in order to ward off bad karma or appeal00:00 Fri 05th Apr 2002