Allotment "Jokes"

Sometimes In The AnswerBank we find a question, or set of questions, which seem to be diamonds in the rough. We enshrine these questions as articles for the sake of posterity.

This however has nothing to do with quality. We have collected together all your Allotment "Jokes" out of a kind of masochism. 

"Enjoy":

Someone hes mysteriously dumped a load of Bisto all over my allotment... The plot thickens...

Someone has mysteriously dumped a load of copies of A Christmas Carol on my allotment... The plot Dickens...

Someone has mysteriously dumped a load of belgian animal porn on my allotment... The plot sickens...

Someone has mysteriously installed an accelerator on my allotment... The plot quickens...

Someone has mysteriously poured oil on my allotment... The plot slickens...

Responses:

These receive honourary mention due to their pure "wit."

Someone has dropped a load of poultry on mine... The plot chickens...

Someone has dropped a load of cowboys on mine... There's Slim Pickens...

Someone has dropped some ink-coagulant on mine... The blot thickens....

Thanks to:

Carrust, Billee_Sugger, Jackthehat and McMouse for their efforts.