Like the old jokes, what's the difference between a foot spa and a drummer - a footspa bucks up the feet
dif betw. a bad marksman and a constipated owl? A bad marksman shoots but can't hit
True story:
I was once at a farming country fare, where some of the farmers wives were showing how they made candles from the beeswax or how to make corn dollies etc and the announcer over the tannoyannounced that there were 'demonstrations of crafty c**t work' intread of 'country craft work' there was a high pitched whine from the tannoy then every adult just stopped and looked at him, the kids carried on screaming then practically everybody started to laugh - the poor guy was SO red!