polite phone calls

[Cayenne]

Can anyone recommend a good web site that would help a foreigner such as myself use the correct and expected phrases when making formal and semi-formal telephone calls to the UK and/or the United States? I can make myself understood, but I haven't got the faintest idea how to start and end the telephone call, how to use 'small phrases', you know - polite things to say so as not to be perceived as impolite or plebeian. I'll have to thank you all in advance; I have tried on a previous occasion to send thank you-mail after reading the replies, but couldn't log in at that time, so... thanks! Harriet Brown

[jno]

I can't personally recommend any one site, but I did a search on Google for "telephone etiquette" and got a lot of suggestions - try it and see if any of them gives you the help you're looking for.

[Ouisch]

Perhaps if you were more specific, some ABers could supply the proper phrases.

Are you making sales calls? Are you "cold calling" people?

I'm in the US, and I can tell you just a few common phrases that we often use in the course of a casual conversation....When you first phone someone, to put the other person at ease and to sound friendly, in an informal call you'd say, "Hi, this is XXXX, how are you doing today? <pause for response>" Then you'd offer a rejoinder - if they answer "fine," you'd reply "Glad to hear it", or if they say "fair to middling" or "not so hot" you'd reply "Sorry to hear that - I can relate," or "Oh, that's too bad, I've had days like that" and then you'd continue to the purpose for your call. (If they're having a lousy day, you want to sympathise and get on the "same page" as them.) A more formal approach would be, "Good morning (afternoon, etc), this is XXXX, how are you? <pause for response> I'm calling you because..." then go on to the purpose of your call.

When doing business in the US via telephone, you can never be too friendly or polite. "Please" and "thanks" or "thank you" are always appreciated. We tend to go overboard on the polite phrases when we're talking on the phone (in business situations, anyway), unlike face-to-face conversation. LOL Instead of saying "I don't know," people prefer to hear "Let me find out for you, can you hold?" If you have to put someone on hold, apologize in advance: "I'll have to put you on hold for a second while I check, OK?"

If you're trying to make casual conversation, it's always appropriate to ask about the weather (for example, you're in India and you're calling Chicago in the middle of January - it's routine to ask "how's the weather there, got much snow?") And even though it's a cliche, it's not uncommon and pretty much regulation to end a business call with "thanks, and have a nice day."

[waimarie]

One of the more puzzling telephone responses. When I first went to New Zealand the person being called would respond with " Are you there? " I was often tempted to give the childish reply of "No" but sensibly never did. Even so, I have often wondered what else was expected and how it came into use.

[Cayenne]

Hello, are you there? (That was so funny, waimarie.) Thanks you guys - what a wonderful website this is. jno, I'm googling for 'telephone etiquette' - thanks! And thanks for taking so much trouble, Ouisch. If you read this and if you enjoy 'teaching', there is something I've been wondering about while talking to Americans over the phone, perhaps you could enlighten me. But first of all, in response to your question: No I don't make traditional sales calls, but I do now and then send ideas for games and such to companies in the USA and UK, and sometimes I call them after a couple of weeks just to make sure that the package has arrived, and to ask about when to expect a response - etc. Anyways, what I've been wondering is this: In Sweden, when we listen to someone making a 'monologue', we as listeners make small sounds (hm... hm! mmm... mhm...! hm... - etc) all along the way, as if to send the message "I'm still here, I'm still listening, I hear you, I understand what you're trying to say." It's a sort of reassuring thing that we do, whether we talk face to face or over the phone. When a listener doesn't do that, the speaker tends to feel a bit 'lost'. Now, in my (limited) experience, Americans don't seem to do this humming along reassuringly-routine...? (to be continued below)

[Cayenne]

(continued) Or have I just been 'unlucky'? And if I were to do that kind of humming that I'm used to doing when the other person is talking, would I be perceived as somebody talking to myself, I wonder... I'm sure that being kind goes a long long way, so I don't really fret over these issues - I just find it so interesting with this kind of small cultural differences that may be difficult to grasp because most of the time we probably don't even understand that there is a difference; we just feel somewhat confused... So... Hope I haven't been talking to myself here. (Perhaps I should post this separately, too. Is there an American equivalent to the UK answerbank, by the way?) Have a nice day! Da Swede

[lankeela]

You could use the phrase uh-huh (not sure if thats how you spell it. Or just yah every so often to let them know you are listening/agreeing to what they are saying.

I usually start a conversation with 'hello there, I wonder if you can help me'. Or if they say hello can I help you, I usually reply 'I wonder if you can'. Or you could say, 'hello, my name is .... and I am phoning to ask you/enquire about'

If its someone I don't know or who doesn't know me, I usually also say I'm sorry to bother you but'

I actually find someone asking me how I am or how I am doing (when I dont know them or what they are calling for) a total put off - I assume they are going to try to sell me something. Its none of their business how I am - either I want what they are selling or I don't (usually don't - if I wanted it I'D be phoning them!)

[Cayenne]

Thanks lankeela too! About the How are you-phrase, yes I find that bothersome, too. I used to think it was rhetorical, but I hear people actually answering it (in movies and such). We do have exactly that same procedure in Sweden, but I find it bothersome even in my own language...