Remember the excellent cuttings which Punch readers sent in to the Country Life section? Here's my all time favourite -
'When the road is long and life seems hard it sometimes pays to remember the old Armenian saying - A watermelon won't ripen in your armpits.
I submitted one which they published. Our local 'paper had reported that a certain late train still ran to stations beyond Ipswich yet British Rail showed it finishing AT Ipswich. Challenged, BR explained that 'if we had that still in the timetable then people would use it to go beyond Ipswich' As good an excuse as you need really ! It's a pity that such finds are now lost to the rest of the nation.