Favourite news headlines

[violetblue]

What is your favourite news headline? A recent one I loved was after the Rooney/Ronaldo incident: 'He Winks, it's all over.' Older ones are 'Paddy Pantsdown' (after Paddy Ashdown's extra-marital shenanigans) and 'Zip me up before you go-go) about George Michael, who i like very much but the headline really made me laugh.

I'm not sure which category this fits so apologies if it's in the wrong place.

[jno]

from the sports pages: Super Caley go ballistic, Celtic are atrocious

[crete]

excellent

[waimarie]

Hi violetbleu, Not a headline but a recent animal show had a zebra called 'spot'. I just fell about laughing and still having a good chuckle whenever I think about it !!

[yinyang]

Back in the days when Benetton where doing their mosr famous ad campaign , a racing car sponsored by them furst into flames on the track. Headline - 'The Ignited Colours of Benetton'
Also liked The Sun headline when Ken Livingston became mayor - ' Oh my God, they've elected Kenny!' ( if you've never seen Southpark that will make no sense whatsoever).

[lankeela]

Another from the Sun ' 'Freddie Star ate my hamster'

Reminds me of the story about a lunatic who went into a laundry and had his wicked way with all the women, then ran off. A rookie reporter on the local paper was told to play down the seriousness of the crime, so he came up with the headline 'NUT SCREWS WASHERS AND BOLTS'

[mycats]

aaaw jno, thats the one I was gonna say, I was laughing for ages when I read that rofl

[dr john]

A sports columnist during the 1966 World Cup wrote of the Russian team 'If you thought Ivan was terrible you should have seen this lot'.

[sir.prize]

Panda mating fails - veterinanian takes over

Grandmother of eight makes hole in one

Police discover crack in Australia

Two convicts evade noose: Jury hung

Drunk gets nice months in violin case

[maxpower06]

Squirrels: Natures little speed bumps

[Offitt]

These are just a few that I remember

"Passengers hit by cancelled trains"

"Police find body in graveyard"

"Body in garden was a plant says wife"

"Police shoot man with knife"

"Man battered in fish shop"