When people have died...

[lankeela]

Why do people say 'but I only saw him last week/yesterday/this morning' as if they couldn't possibly have died without letting this person know it was going to happen?

[Springdouble]

Because in those circumstances as described, presumably the deceased person was in good health, and the death sudden, so it is hard to come to terms that the deceased was not ill or feeling unwell before their death, the usual reaction being, "You never know when it's your turn".

[shammydodger]

It's just one of the conventional ways of reacting to such news. People often feel more comfortable in uttering such meaningless words, rather than saying nothing at all, which might be construed as uncaring. Death always has been and probably always will be the most disconcerting subject to broach. And filling the void with words is one of the ways in which people deal with it.

[bluevern]

yes and some people say,,,,he owed me �20

[jno]

with respect shammy, I don't think this is a simple 'conventional' response (that would be 'Oh, how awful' or something similar). I think it usually denotes genuine surprise - a personal reaction from the one who says it, and a recollection of his last encounter - and usually suggests the death was very sudden, which most deaths aren't. I don't think it's meaningless at all.

[bernardo]

Under Section 8537 of the Death (Notification) Act 1947, it is compulsory for everybody to inform all their acquaintances of their death within 14 days before it happens. Failure to notify death in advance is a criminal offence, which can result in a fine of �5000 or up to six months' imprisonment. Prosecutions are rare, because it is normally considered to be not in the public interest to bring a prosecution against someone who is already a rotting corpse and who would therefore be a bit smelly in court. The use of this expression is an expression of surprise that their relative or acquaintance has died illegally without advance warning, thereby tarnishing their reputation as a normally law-abiding citizen

[spudqueen]

To my eternal shame a few years back I was staying at my parents house and answered the front door. It was one of my Dads friends, 'Hi Wilf', I said, 'I saw Jean' (his wife) yesterday in the post office but I don't think she recognised me'. Wilf just asked if my Dad was in and went through into the living room. I carried on doing what I was doing in the kitchen and about ten minutes later Wilf left and my Dad came through to the kitchen. Apparently Wilf had called round to tell my Dad that Jean had died in the night.

[jno]

spudqueen, that's obviously a cause for regret, but not shame - you did nothing wrong