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peter kays nan

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serendipity1 | 13:51 Wed 11th Oct 2006 | Phrases & Sayings
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peter kay is always taking the pee out of his nan getting words wrong e.g . calling the dvd player vd player and lots of others , do you have any relatives, friends who do this ? and what do they say? i have a friend who calls valentines day valemtimes, and jurassic park is jurastic park my fave was when he said he liked " burt bolytons "books when he was a kid, can you guess who hes referring to? and the goalie "peter schoomichael" its not for effect either he genuinely gets it wrong..bless him!!
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My mum can't for the life of her say PANTS... she says PAINTS... try as she might she just do it. Funniest thing is she can't see whats wrong with how she says it! Very bizarre.
My brother in law was saying about people dying through wasp stings. He still thinks they get Anaglypta shock.
my friends mum thinks enema is a nice name for a girl ie emma.
My dad was saying he couldn't get his head around how gay men could fancy each other so I was trying to explain how it was natural for them to be attracted to each other just as it was quite natural for him to be heterosexual. To which he exclaimed (quite indignently) 'I'm not a bloody heterosexual!!!'. Took me a while to convince him that he was!
Quite a similar experience to makemesmile...
Had an argument with a collegue a couple of years ago regarding Homo Sapiens.
my nan asked what 'band-broad' was the other day... she was trying to be 'topical'... didn't have the heart to tell her any different!...
My Granny asked me if I was "Jacklegged" after my long flight!!
my aunt said her favourite song was, rug on the floor..................ie blanket on the ground.
Mr Spudqueens auntie is great at these, she always shops at Adsa, her son went to a concert to the BMX Centre in Manchester and she wanted to buy him some bamboo mix.
A friend of mine went to Dubai and insisted she stayed at the Jemiroquai Beach hotel instead of Jumeira Beach. She's part indian too, and spent the whole time telling everyone that she was 'going home' to her roots!!! Geography isn't her strong point.
Here's some classics from my daughter... 'Brown Horse' = Ground Force 'Watching the pops' = Top of the Pops 'Hospital Horse' = obstical course (not sure of spelling!!) 'Moving Frame' = You've been framed 'High Crotch Zoo' = Twycross Zoo.. She also used to sing the farmer wants a life instead of wife in the nursery ryhme (maybe she was onto something though?) and bless yer bless yer three bags full instead of yes sir yes sir.

I used to call pigeons pidneys apparantly.....

BUT my favourites come from my Dad's ex boss; one of which was that feeling you get when you've already done something...... 'Moulin Rouge' !?!?!?! Love it! So wot's Burt Bolytons?

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enid blyton of course!!
a women told me she was having fertilizing treatment to assist her and her partner to have a baby ie fertility treatment ,
My aunt comes out with some classics! She told me last week that she always cooks bacon on her George Formby grill!

Then last night she was telling me about an old lady that's supposed to go into a care home but doesn't want to, my aunt said she'll have to go into one soon because she's becoming incontinental!

She likes cream cheese called Laughing Cow but she alwyas refers to it as Mad Cow cheese!
My wife thinks there's a dutch footballer called Roy Van Nistelrood. No matter how many times I correct here she persists in calling him that.
Mum in Law thinks "Non Stick Glue" is fab. Oh, and she thinks young people should "expire" to greater education.
My mam comes out with some great ones my favourite was when she asked me if the Celtic-Rangers were playing one night, she hadnt quite realised it was two different teams.
My mum cracks me up with some of her sayings! The latest one is she wants me to take her to MI5 for a new wardrobe!!
taking my son out during the summer holidays we went on a few day trips to barry island, south wales, and later to the caves in cheddar, i almost wet myself the following week when in the car he asked , dad, can we go to cheesy island.

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