What Phrases, Quotes, makes you smile

[BertiWooster]

Just a few here

- George Bush slagging off the french for not commiting to the Iraq War - and criticising their economy , stated '' they dont even have a word for Entrepreneur ''

- The Americans and British - Divided by a common language

- We did not want to get a divorce untill the children were dead

- If you laid all the economists , end to end , they wouldn't come to a conclusion .

[jno]

If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised. (Dorothy Parker, always good for a quote)

[MarkRae]

You can take a horse to water but a pencil must be lead.

[marval]

This makes me smile - "the bowler is Holding the batsmens Willey" Brian Johnston

[grasscarp]

Groucho Marx sent a club a wire stating, "PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THAT WILL ACCEPT PEOPLE LIKE ME AS A MEMBER".

[grasscarp]

and another was we would have divorced sooner but neither of us wanted the children

[MarkRae]

Mickey Rooney famously said that he had been married so many times that his wedding certificate now simply said "To whom it may concern".

[marval]

I like this by Spike Milligan.

“Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard”

[dundurn]

You can take a horse to water, but have you ever smelled a wet horse?

[dundurn]

Beware the evils of strong drink - it can make you shoot at tax collectors.....and miss.

[boxtops]

You can't beat Winston Churchill, this is a good one

There are a terrible lot of lies going around the world, and the worst of it is half of them are true.

[boxtops]

..and this one (made me hoot when I first heard it, and still does)

“Lady Nancy Astor: Winston, if you were my husband, I'd poison your tea.
Churchill: Nancy, if I were your husband, I'd drink it.”

[BertiWooster]

boxtops - A couple more from Winston Churchill -

- Bessie Braddock : Sir, you are drunk.
Churchill : Madam, you are ugly. In the morning, I shall be sober.

- The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.

[RAFP]

There is one that tickles me ..... You will never be the man your mother was

[RAFP]

Another favorite of mine from the immortal George Best went something like ..... I spend most of my wages on women drink and gambling ......... the rest i just wasted although not a direst quote i know it was something like this

[BertiWooster]

I think this is the one you mean

' I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars - the rest I just squandered.'