i love random quotes any help sarcastic pls

[davyjo1]

i.e you are as thick as whale omlette.

[Clanad]

Give me ambiguity or give me something else...

[RATTER15]

Im so hungry I could eat a scabby monkey, raw!!

[4getmenot]

Rather have someone inside my tent p1ssing outside than outside p1ssing in.

freinds close, enemies closer

[johnlambert]

Don't die for your country
make the other guy die for his

[Count_Emmup]

You're as much use as a one-legged man in an �se-kicking contest!

[lankeela]

cold as a witches t*t
shut your festering slit

[andrea81]

Quote from Minder on (TV). "Your world is your lobster"

[andrea81]

My husband faforite thing to say to me when I'm having a blonde moment!

"You're thicker than a big bag of thick things on St Thicks Day!"

[fsuchef45]

stupid is as stupid does

I will try to think of some good ones this weekend

[burston]

We are being treated like mushrooms. Kept in the dark and fed on s.**t

[Lucy Thomas]

Intelligence is knowing that the tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting in a fruit salad.

When testing the water, don't use both feet.

It is better to be thought of as a fool that to open one's mouth and remove all doubt.

A problem shared is a problem two people have.

[RALLYMARK]

if ive told you once, ive told you a million times - dont exaggerate.