I've been thinking about the end game's unsatisfying shading and the unusual method given for finding the relevant cells' locations.
Whenever there is scope for the less conscientious solver to trip up, the wording of the preamble and the contents of the grid must allow all possibilities to be found using the same method. That being the case, is it not simply that grid constraints here made it impossible for X's first name to appear in a more conventional way?
Having said that, the method of minimising the average distance between letters does seem a rather blunt tool, enabling almost any first name (or anything else for that matter) to be found in the grid I don't remember seeing it used before, and I hope not to see it again.
The puzzle's title made me smile, inwardly, at least. And I'll make sure the Z-cup is nice and shiny for next week's claimant.