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help, one liners needed

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saintpeter48 | 14:12 Mon 20th Jun 2011 | Quizzes & Puzzles
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i'm doing a 'this is your life' spoof on a friend and need some one liners please, things like, i wouldn't say that it was a rough estate but ..... or i wouldn't say that she was fat but ....... good old one liners.. thanks in advance
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What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette
I wouldnt say your fat but you have more pounds than the bank of england.
Gorgeous, intelligent, kind, sweet, charming, witty, hilarious, friendly...well enough about ME! <then go on to say someting about your friend>
i wouldnt say it was a rough estate but they had a bomb blast last week and it made £30000 worth of improvements.

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