Mad Over 50's Club now open

[Mamyalynne]

Good evening every one, sorry to be a little late in opening up, but Garfield the handyman had changed the code on the Portcullis and failed to tell me the new one - in truth I think he was distracted by the new fangled tellyvisual box he now has in his lean to at the side of the old stables.

Firstly absences :
MyLud and Lady are still in the land of large dentures.

TTFN is resting/rusting in rural climes (may pop by if the compost has kept the generator going)

Alexanderd is off to a speech at the dolls hospital or something along those lines.

This weeks guest Tailcock is the Rhodfryx a touch Welsh and a bit camp, very fresh and a perfect companion to my Lamb Tagine which bubbles on the Aga, To go with this there are warm flatbreads and a vegetable Pilaf.

For those requiring a lighter bite, there are the usual tasty nibbles as well as the best wines I could sneak out of the cellar. Please ask the Butler if you need refills or any other assistance (within the bounds of decency of course).

For the rufflet I have :

Book of Birds of Eastern Europe
A 10 shilling note
Pine Loo rim block refill
bag of green wine gums

So settle in and get snug.

Mamya ♥

[Lie-in King]

Good evening Matron - the handyman has also changed the lock on the rear entrance...

For the rofl, I can offer -

A rejection letter from the BBC
A sparkly dance costume (butler-sized)
Unopened celebration champers.

I shall endeavour to provide my usual impeccable service, but have been somewhat discombobulated by some sequins.

[Mamyalynne]

Why you are quite prompt if I may say so, do change from that Ball gown into your uniform please. Plus you know the rule about stilettos on the parquet flooring.

[Lie-in King]

Oh, very well. I shall avail myself of the changing facilities, a large Rhodfryx & shall return suitably buttled-up.

[Mamyalynne]

Yes well we may as well enjoy ourselves while it is quiet.

[slinky.kate]

hello mamya,your tailcocks sound good,i am having a quiet one tonight so i'll sit in the ingleneuk and sip this,please accept these for the riffle raffle
the good guide for mountain climbing
a beautiful book of pressed wild flowers i done in my youth
tin of spam

[petal54]

gud evening good people,what a dark,dank eve it be.had trouble finding thr draw bridge,crocodile ate my shirt,so hope lost property has some outsize clothes!
have part eaten bag of dugnuts
a smelly dog blanket
and some chanel no. 2.5

[DTCwordfan]

Top of the evening to y'all

Tonight I have to honour the great chucking of the bladder in Aotearoa, the land of the long white cloud, and the screeching and wailing known as the last night of the Poms.

I will start with the former as my raffle items are nationally identifiable with each particpiating tribe:

• Johnny Wilkinson’s rugby shirt – minus sleeves
• One punctured New Zealand Rugby Ball
• One Ref’s whistle, pip missing, believed swallowed
• One Guinness glass from Ireland, empty
• One Scottish Jock-strap, used
• A Welsh National Stadium post, battered by the Welsh kickers
• One dead French cockerel (good for soup stock)
• An Argentinean box of Malbec, minus bottles
• One Romanian immigrant who will nick anything you want
• One Georgian weight-lifter (female)
• A Japanese piece of Puffer fish Sashimi
• One Canadian Mountie’s boot
• An Italian Spaghetti tree to plant
• A Fijian Frog, Tongan Toad, a Samoan Salamander & a Namibian Newt
• One S. African rugby cup, battered and stripped of its precious metal
• A half-glass of Russia vodka and a shot of Sturgeon sperm
• An Australian empty cricket trophy cabinet
• A US stamp showing O’Bama kissing, er, G. Bush on a Clinton card.

[petal54]

Oh do give us a twirl,purr master!

[Lie-in King]

Hello kinky, petal, DT - please accept a tailcock made with Matron's own fair hands & excuse my being slightly out of breath.

May I hide your coats?

[Mamyalynne]

Goodness did you all come on the same bus! What wonderful gifts, Kate have you seen the price of Spam? Hope I win that.

Petal am sure we can kit you our from lost prop, we have some Rugby strips from last year.

DTC, what an assortment.

[boxtops]

Good grief, DT, is there anything left in New Zealand?

[boxtops]

Oh - oops - good evening all!

[Mamyalynne]

Good evening Boxy do have a Rhodfryx

[Lie-in King]

Good evening Miss boxy - your usual flagon of tailcock...

[petal54]

surprised DTc got past the security dogs!

[boxtops]

Thank you very kindly, milady, I will just slip out of the waders first...

[giveup]

Good evening everyone, hope you are all well although the butler has obviously been rejected by "Strictly"and may well need careful handling this evening. (So glad to see Vincent there again). I will start the evening with a large tailcock and an even larger Lamb Tagine ( you did shear the lamb before cooking). For the riffle I have several Perry Como records,a 1984 version of
Readers Digest "Know your Rights" and some home made cheesecake which needs to be used up.Feel like letting my hair down tonight.

[DTCwordfan]

Boxtops, me thinks not in six weeks time!

[Lie-in King]

My, we were thirsty, Miss! Another?..

[DTCwordfan]

well that is you out of the weekly ode, petal, for that remark!