how do you ?

[legend758duo]

how do you, or would you.
get someone to backoff romantically?
i dont mean dump someone or ditch them.
i just mean to let them know theyre getting a bit heavy , commitment wise?

you know when youre with someone , or seeing them in a more casual way.
and theyre just getting that bit closer than you want?

isnt it awful when you want to get a little space but someones almost smothering you , not in a bad way.
but they just cant see that theyre moving at a different speed to you .

how do you do it without hurting them ?
but also without falling out with them too?

its easy to just end everything but not if you really care about them.
my god im sounding like jeremy kyle here.

[4getmenot]

talk, if they dont understand then you shouldnt be together. Relationships are give and take.

[redcrx]

yeah, just tell them. Its hard to imagine you stuck for words, you can usually get your opinion out there so why would it be any harder telling someone who you know personally?

[4getmenot]

you're getting quite emotional today for chatterbank. maybe body and soul or relationships could help

[4GS]

Are you trying to tell meredith101 that it can never be leg end? lol

I prefer the direct approach, I kept telling this girl in Canada that she was a one night stand, but she wouldn't hear of it, so, as I have related a couple of weeks ago I left something 'unmentionbable' in her handbag

[beryllium]

Are you trying to get out of buying her a christmas present?
You rotter!!!

[legend758duo]

well you shouldnt imagine everyone online is the same in real life.
i dont imagine most are.

why would i try to do that berry?
surely then i would miss out myself too??

i prefer to chat in chatterbank.
i didnt say thta this related to me .
it could be a friend of mine who doesnt wanna post ?

some folk arent as outgoing as others.

but thanks for all the advice .
even though the answers were limited : -)

[beryllium]

ooooh lol one does not give to receive....

ok, predicament?

How long has this been going on? casual is one night isn't it? not going back for more and more and then saying 'actually' I'm only interested in getting my end away and I'll keep coming back till you realise that that is all you are. A continuous one night stand. oh yeah... I care.

I say keep going till she finds someone better then.

That's for your mate btw Leg. ;) xxx

[4getmenot]

Oh I knew it wasnt you, you dont do casual

[legend758duo]

well thanks berry.

youre right 4get i dont do casual as berry said 1 night stands .


i will pass the advice on to him tho idont know if he will take it .
hes very stubborn and wont listen to a word i say. : -)

[4getmenot]

well each to their own

[legend758duo]

well if each stuck to their own youd have less trouble .

so youre absolutely correct : -)

[4getmenot]

no I mean if he wont take your advice up to him, its his problem

[4getmenot]

and have less trouble with what. I dont have any trouble in my life

[Ice-Maiden]

I think I'd just say: "Hey - you're coming on a bit heavy aren't you?" - and laugh it off. If someone's not out and out cruel about it, and keeps the humour, I don't know anyone who wouldn't at least remain friends.

[legend758duo]

i never said you did .

did i ?

ice i think your e close .
but feelings can get hurt very easily .

but i will pass on all the advuice and see what happens . : -)

[Louisa 69]

It depends what your mate really feels for this girl. If he is interested in having a relationship with her but feels she's moving too quick, then it's best he is honest and maybe just agrees to see her on certain nights so that he gets the space he needs. If she likes him she may be a little put out, but she should understand.
If he just wants her as a friend then he has to make that very clear and not act in a way that's giving her the wrong signals.

[legend758duo]

its a bit more complicated i think lou .

but thanks doll xx

[Ice-Maiden]

Lol - and hi Louisa.

[gummybear]

Hi Legend, I think if subtle hints were not working i would have a conversation with the lady regarding another imaginary couple you know like .. Poor Dave, Charlotte is coming on well heavy id hate it if you got like that !! always works for me x

[legend758duo]

good idea gummy

i will pass on : - )