It's good to know I'm not the only sufferer. But I've only a mild case - DTel each day and EV on Sundays.
I have three pens (and the glory). There was a �15 prize as well, and my daughter was dismayed that it was spent on another dictionary - still, her teacher was impressed that it became part of about four feet of such books!
Your motives sound familiar, but I would add that there is the mental appetite that it is absolutely vital to feed, and crosswords help the mind in the same way as a good diet (including beer) helps the body.
Can't do without them, so long live the compilers! (And the brewery.)