To disclose or not to disclose

[crofter]

Absence from MM (and AB)

To disclose or not to disclose ~ that is the question?

Just over six weeks ago, my 92-year-old father-in-law was rushed to hospital with breathing difficulties. It has become known that these problems all stem from imminent kidney failure and medical intervention is now considered ineffective. He is being made as comfortable as possible during whatever little time he has left.

Valerie is an only child and spends two to three hours every evening with him to settle him for the night. I go with her most evenings (and certainly at the weekends). This explains my sudden absence from MM Link Games after over a year (virtually) without a break.

I have faced the dilemma of wishing to inform my friends on MM of the situation ~ yet not wishing to sadden them at a time of much appreciated, light-hearted banter. The shrubbery squad humour is a special ingredient of the MM Links Weekend Game and should continue.

My sincere thanks to gen2 for his expert covering in my absence and to pauline who could give Pam Ayres a run for her money!

[jan1956]

Crofter as I am sure you know, we are friends on here and friends share the good times as well as the sad, they offer support in sad timestoo as I am sure you will have seen when Sarumite told us of his sad loss.
You are quite right to let us know, I am pleased it is not you that is ill but sorry to hear of Vals dads problems. Hope you are looking after each other too, as it is easy to forget that in the rush to help the sick relative.
You have been missed
Do take care
all the best jan

[gen2]

We are all thinking of you crofter at this stressful time and please take as much time as you need until the situation is resolved.

PS
The shrubbery will be launched at 8pm.

[Pebbles]

Jan has said it all C...........we are here for you...... good times and bad.

Sara

[JoolsTwo]

Sorry to here about Valerie's father - We will be thinking of you and remembering you in our prayers. Take care of yourselves too. It's important not to forget that when you are tending to a sick relative. Jools xx

[Strix]

Crofter,
I can only give you my anonymous thoughts of sympathy and in an "ether" world my empathy. Over the last few years we, my wife and I, have had similar problems to deal with our various relatives. The last one being my wife's grandmother who, having recovered from a hip operation at the age of 96, was finally, after a two month battle, done down by a C diff infection courtesy of her hospital.

On another level I would like to thank you, crofter, for all the erudite help you give to those all others on this site.

I shall, now, go off and be a drunk and dissolute male contributer to that female crowd who think they own the Shrubbery.
NO bl**ding chance

But best wishes and MUCH sympathy
Strix

[valerieb1254]

My prayers and thoughts are with your father-in-law and your family.God Bless and give you strength to cope.
Val.

[paulineward]

Hi Crofter...so good to see you on here...even though it is with sad news. I hope both you and Valerie are taking care of yourselves during this very trying time.

It's a tribute to you that the MM and KM Links are running smoothly even while you are temporarily away from us.

Now I really don't know who you should feel more sorry for this month...gen2 or me!!

Thinking of you all......

as Jan says we miss you!...take great ..Pauline x

[x-ray]

Sorry to hear of your news. I am very new to the "squad" but I am aware of all the work you have put into the quizzes, the MM links and the Dragonfly quizzes.
Hope you get through these rough times - I know what it's like - I've been there on more than one occasion.
Best of luck for the future.

[kayakamina]

Crofter I was wondering why I hadn't seen you on Ab for some time and I am so sad to read your news.

I am not a member of the shrubbery gang but you and I go back a long time and I just wanted to say that I miss your company on Q&P and am thinking of you both at this difficult time.

Regards K

[LaneyB]

Crofter, my thoughts are with you and Valerie, its a difficult time for you both, but Valerie needs all your support. We understand your dilemma and will be pleased to see you back as and when.

[evsajo]

Crofter so sorry to hear your news. I had begun to think it was helping me with posting the MM links and you just had to pass me on to Gen2!!!
Seriously though as everyone has said you and your wife are in our thoughts at such a stressful time. I know how draining these situations are.
Don't worry, we will all keep meeting in the Shrubbery and talking about you too!!!
God Bless . Kay

[shaneystar2]

Very sorry to hear this news crofter ....you are such a good pal and my thoughts are with you and Val at this sad time .
Take care ....look after yourselves
Shaney xx

[Alibobs]

Hello Crofter,

It is good to hear from you even though you bear sad news.

Your loyalties are in the right place, Ihave been where Valerie is and she needs all the support you can give her right now.

I hope your father inlaw is able to end his days in relative comfort and peace, 92 years - what a fantastic achievement

Alibobs xxxx

[Elspeth]

Crofter, may I add my voice to those of other friends at this sad time for you. I lost my brother to kidney failure on January lst so can understand how you and your family must be feeling.

[sarumite]

Crofter my friend .. I'm so sorry to hear the sad news, and fully appreciate the commitment needed to deal with such a situation.
My prayers and thoughts are with both Val and yourself at this difficult time.
You have been sorely missed, although gen2 has coped admirably with MM links in your absence.
Take care .. from your good friend
Ivor (aka sarumite)

[Argee2]

So sorry to hear your sad news, Crofter, our thoughts and sympathy are with you at this difficult time. Lots of love from Argee. XXX

[JMR27]

Hi crofter, I wondered why I hadn't seen your name for a while. I'm so sorry to hear your sad news and my thoughts are with you and your wife during this difficult time. Kind regards. j

[seekeerz]

Dear crofter, my thoughts are with yourself and Val through this sad time - and I'm glad you felt you could share the tidings with us all - good or sad, we're here for each other, all of us. Steff xx

[kettledrum]

Crofter - My heart goes out to you and Valerie at this difficult time, and I can only hope that modern medicine can keep your father-in-law's last days relatively pain free.