MM & KM Links January 2008 [Week 4]

gen2 | 21:00 Fri 25th Jan 2008 | Quizzes & Puzzles

73 Answers

Have you all seen crofter's post below?

http://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/Quizzes-and-Puz zles/Question512452.html

It explains why I am still overseeing the MM Links Game. I'm sure I speak for everyone when I say we all empathise with you crofter and we are sad that there is only one inevitable way the situation will be resolved. Be strong.

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This is a special day devoted to 'The Bard' (not to be confused with the 'Lesser Bard' or 'Bard of Avon'). After the grace,

Some hae meat and cannot eat.
Some cannot eat that want it:
But we hae meat and we can eat,
Sae let the Lord be thankit.

. . . and once the haggis has been piped in, I ask you to charge yor glasses with a fine malt and be upstanding for a toast:- "The Haggis!". I'll be compassionate though, and spare you the full eight verses of 'Address to a Haggis'.

'Oh yes!', I thought there was something else to mention this evening: 'This is Queen Pauline's fourth and final week on the throne for the MM Game'. Tomorrow morning Queen Pauline will challenge you to pair words with four of her own - what they are is for me to know and you to find out.

Each week has favoured different players with the result that there are four probable contenders for the February crown. However, it is still possible for an outsider to take the honours, so to be in with a chance, make sure you take part in tomorrow's game. Will it be Strix, ulysses100, Magyar or fordward? Or could it be you?

CONTINUED . . .

juventus and the bank of england link

Guess what?

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sarumite

Jock finds himself in dire trouble. His business has gone bust and he's in serious financial problems. He's so desperate that he decides to ask God for help. "God, please help me. Ah've lost ma wee store and if Ah dinna get some money, Ah'm going to lose my hoose too. Please let me win the lottery!" Lottery night! Someone else wins... Jock prays again. "God, please let me win the lottery! Ah've lost my wee store, ma hoose and Ah'm going to lose ma car as weel!" Lottery night again! Still no luck... Jock prays again.
"Ah've lost ma business, ma hoose and ma car. Ma bairns are starving. Ah dinna often ask Ye for help and Ah have always been a good servant to Ye. PLEASE just let me win the lottery this one time so Ah can get back on ma feet!"
Suddenly there is a blinding flash as the heavens open and the voice of God Himself thunders:
"Jock at least meet Me half way and buy a ticket!"

paulineward

x-ray...can't you finish the limerick?

For our Anniversary my wife said she wanted to go somewhere she'd never been before. I said, 'How about the kitchen?'

and to balance it....

She decided to bury the hatchet...between his shoulder blades!!!

mazie

A Scotsman walking through a field, sees a man drinking water from a pool with his hand.
The Scotsman man shouts ' Awa ye feel hoor that�s full O� coos Sharn'
(Don't drink the water, it's full of cow s ** t.)
The man shouts back 'I'm English, Speak English, I don't understand you'.
The Scotsman man shouts back 'Use both hands, you'll get more in.'

x-ray

That's sexist

x-ray

I mean't Paulines story

paulineward

Very good S...and good to see you!

A Scotsman gets a cab to take his girlfriend home. She's so beautiful he can barely keep his eyes on the meter!

mazie

This one really is sexist but I love it

A Scots boy came home from school and told his mother he had been given a part in the school play. "Wonderful," says the mother, "What part is it?" The boy says "I play the part of the Scottish husband!" The mother scowls and says: "Go back and tell your teacher you want a speaking part."

paulineward

Brilliant Mazie!!...I am having a real chuckle here!

x-ray...I did balance it!!! :-)))

mazie

Jock and a Englishman were flying from Edinburgh when the stewardess approached. "May I get you something?" she asked. "Aye, a whusky" Jock replied.
She poured him a drink then asked the Englishman if he'd like one. "Never!" he said sternly. "I'd rather be raped and ravished by ****** all the way to America than drink whisky!"
Jock hurriedly passed the drink back, saying "Och, Ah didna ken there wuz a choice!"

mazie

So...This is what you all get up to an a Friday night...Shame on you all (Dons halo)

paulineward

If I tell you a rudish one Mazie...will you keep it to yourself??

mazie

Of course Pauline, I'm the sole of discretion..but make it quick ,I'm off to bed in a minute xx

sarumite

Come on you lot ... where have you hidden the drinks?
I'm not here on a health trip you know, I have a terrible thirst!! Do I need to resort to one of my cunning plans to find the stuff??

mazie

Well I've just had a glass of red wine, which under the circustances I'm not sure was a very wise idea...so if you want the rest of the bottle Ivor, you are more than welcome. It's a cheeky little red as well

(I'm being very brave visiting the shrubbery on a friday night)

paulineward

Right...Mazie...(I got cut off then!!)

Don't tell it anyone else...

How do you tell if a Scotsman is a MacDonald?

Lift his kilt and see if he has a quarter-pounder!!!

x-ray

I was just going to suggest - we've had enough jokes, lets back to the serious business of drinks

mazie

Oh My Gosh, I think I might just faint <swoon>

can I have it with a gherkin and large fries?

Right, I'm off to sniff the lavander water xxxxxx