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What the hell's wrong with my formula?
37 Answers
Hi there, me and my partner have devised a miracle tan lotion which protects the user 100% from burning, even if you have pale skin and red hair (My partner's ginger)
We've tested it in the Sahara, death valley California Alice springs in Australia and it was whilst we were testing on the beach and off the Cape of Good Hope's coast we ran into a problem, a very big problem that nearly caused a fatality with our beta testers, you see when the testers had roasted in the sun and went off too cool off in the water they were suddenly surrounded by sharks trying to get at them and they were just in knee high water which was very strange.
We tested at a few other places and came to the same conclusion that it could be an ingredient in the tan lotion so we brought some mushed fish guts (Chum) which the sharks love and then got several mannequins which we smeared with the tan lotion and then chartered a small boat and went to shark infested waters where we carried out several tests in which we threw the mannequins on one side of the boat and the fish chum on the other and everytime there was a frenzy with sharks on the mannequin side with them leaving the chum completely, other tests we threw out non smeared mannequins and chum in which there was a frenzy for the chum and the mannequins left alone completely which gave us the result that our lotion attracts sharks bigtime.
We have isolated the ingredient to the seal blubber we use in our lotion but this is the main ingredient and without it our lotion wouldn't work, so my question is does anyone know how to isolate the different compounds in seal blubber so we can independently test each variation so that we can leave out the shark attractor asyou know no one is going to put anything on their body and go swimming on the beach knowing that it's going to attract sharks.
I may be too busy to answer right away so thanks in advance.
We've tested it in the Sahara, death valley California Alice springs in Australia and it was whilst we were testing on the beach and off the Cape of Good Hope's coast we ran into a problem, a very big problem that nearly caused a fatality with our beta testers, you see when the testers had roasted in the sun and went off too cool off in the water they were suddenly surrounded by sharks trying to get at them and they were just in knee high water which was very strange.
We tested at a few other places and came to the same conclusion that it could be an ingredient in the tan lotion so we brought some mushed fish guts (Chum) which the sharks love and then got several mannequins which we smeared with the tan lotion and then chartered a small boat and went to shark infested waters where we carried out several tests in which we threw the mannequins on one side of the boat and the fish chum on the other and everytime there was a frenzy with sharks on the mannequin side with them leaving the chum completely, other tests we threw out non smeared mannequins and chum in which there was a frenzy for the chum and the mannequins left alone completely which gave us the result that our lotion attracts sharks bigtime.
We have isolated the ingredient to the seal blubber we use in our lotion but this is the main ingredient and without it our lotion wouldn't work, so my question is does anyone know how to isolate the different compounds in seal blubber so we can independently test each variation so that we can leave out the shark attractor asyou know no one is going to put anything on their body and go swimming on the beach knowing that it's going to attract sharks.
I may be too busy to answer right away so thanks in advance.
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Thank you very much theprof, unfortunately all of our funding was used to develop the products and have the formula legally protected (Which we can't do yet until our formula is finalised)
The Mass Spectrometry could be something we can do as I know quite a few people at various colleges and uni's here in the uk, but whether they have ms machines, whether they can give us the time and whether or not they want to charge us are all large hurdles for us at the moment and what got me about your post was that you said it would take decades to isolate the compounds? Unfortunately we do not have the the time, I can't go into it here but I'll be lucky if I last the next three years hence my haste to get this up and running so that my partner and children and indeed the world have someting after I'm gone so it looks like back to the garage lab for me and I'll have to use a lot less complex methods to try and isolate what's stopping this formula from being a success.
Thank you very much the prof, after all the rubble this thread has stirred up, your post was the one diamond amongst it that made my post here worth it.
The Mass Spectrometry could be something we can do as I know quite a few people at various colleges and uni's here in the uk, but whether they have ms machines, whether they can give us the time and whether or not they want to charge us are all large hurdles for us at the moment and what got me about your post was that you said it would take decades to isolate the compounds? Unfortunately we do not have the the time, I can't go into it here but I'll be lucky if I last the next three years hence my haste to get this up and running so that my partner and children and indeed the world have someting after I'm gone so it looks like back to the garage lab for me and I'll have to use a lot less complex methods to try and isolate what's stopping this formula from being a success.
Thank you very much the prof, after all the rubble this thread has stirred up, your post was the one diamond amongst it that made my post here worth it.
Hi, yes I know jackthehat.
Jno, in a way, I'm the first beta tester of the formula, the whole reason it exists. I'm "Redhead" his partner. Grossbean's asleep at the moment having been up all night on various scientific forums trying to get answers for the project as he's a sick man and wants everything to at least be through the first phase and building momentum when his time does finally come.
We had coffee this morning before he went to bed and he asked me to pass on a few words and convey his gratitude to theprof hence my appearance here this morning.
Jno, in a way, I'm the first beta tester of the formula, the whole reason it exists. I'm "Redhead" his partner. Grossbean's asleep at the moment having been up all night on various scientific forums trying to get answers for the project as he's a sick man and wants everything to at least be through the first phase and building momentum when his time does finally come.
We had coffee this morning before he went to bed and he asked me to pass on a few words and convey his gratitude to theprof hence my appearance here this morning.
No problem Gretnagersh. I'm happy to help in any way I can, but unfortunately I can't see a way forward in this.
What I should have made clear was that although MS will indeed list virtually all the compounds in a blubber sample, only a limited percentage of these compounds will be available as tangible compounds from chemical/biological suppliers - not all organic compounds can be isolated and placed in a jar.
Furthermore, I can think of around 30 compounds that would have purchasing restrictions attached to them due to potential teratological and/or carcinogenic effects and there are probably more. These latter compounds would be extremely hazardous to handle as individual compounds.
It would take decades because you would have to add in each of the compounds you could obtain and test the product afterwards. In fact, decades might be an understatement.
What I should have made clear was that although MS will indeed list virtually all the compounds in a blubber sample, only a limited percentage of these compounds will be available as tangible compounds from chemical/biological suppliers - not all organic compounds can be isolated and placed in a jar.
Furthermore, I can think of around 30 compounds that would have purchasing restrictions attached to them due to potential teratological and/or carcinogenic effects and there are probably more. These latter compounds would be extremely hazardous to handle as individual compounds.
It would take decades because you would have to add in each of the compounds you could obtain and test the product afterwards. In fact, decades might be an understatement.
As blubber is a tissue it is supplied with blood vessels which unsurprisingly contain blood. It is well known that the shark olfactory system is incredibly sensitive to blood. I suggest that heat treatment with plant polysaccharides may denature the (possibly)protein component of the blood without affecting the UV absorbing component. This is how to do it get hold of some tubers from the plant Solanum tuberosum, clean them and cut them into slices about 1mm thick so as to maximise the surface area. Add them to the blubber during heat treatment when they will start to go brown, at this stage stop the heat treatment and remove the slices of tuber and sprinkle on them some sodium chloride that has been ground to a fine powder in a pestle and mortar. These should now be eaten as they will be delicious, you can throw the treated blubber away or give it to a local husky.
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