I hope the following is helpful:
"Why can't I orbit a frozen pea around a football?"
The catch about gravity is that it's weak. Seriously weak. Stupidly weak. This means that, while there is a force of gravity between the pea and the football, it's completely dominated by any other forces involved.
You can convince yourself that gravity is stupidly weak by the simple experiment of standing up. That's your tiny body pushing against the combined gravity of the entire earth. And you win with very little effort (although good luck doing the same thing on Jupiter).
"Why does the earth keep the moon in orbit? ... Come to that, why hasn't the moon fallen to earth yet?"
Remarkably, the Moon is actually slipping out of Earth's grasp, rather than falling in. Again, this is associated partly with how weak Gravity is. The effective force that's making the Moon want to leave (this is centrifugal force, due to the Moon's orbit) is stronger than Gravity that's keeping it in. If the Moon weren't orbiting the Earth it probably would have fallen in long, long ago, but rather like satellites, once you get them orbiting at the right speed they stay in orbit.
"Apparently the more matter the more gravity right?"
Yes. All other things being equal, the more mass an object has the greater its gravity. In many cases, the dominant part of the equation is distance between two objects, so that if they are far enough apart, all the matter in the world won't make much difference.
"I just want a simple explanation why things fall down and not up."
Gravity is an attractive force, so that things can only ever move towards each other under the influence of gravity (if there were such as thing as "negative mass" then this would not longer be true. But there isn't so it is
.) And then, you may as well define "down" as "the direction gravity takes you relative to an object". It's a bit of a circular definition but that can't be helped.
"Can anyone explain...what gravity is?"
No, afraid not. Nobody knows yet!