Help Needed

[Dizmo]

I've put this in the Christmas bit as it is regarding today and tomorrow, maybe even Boxing Day but mainly tonight and tomorrow.

For all that haven't been following my threads lately, I've been in hospital and was released yesterday without treatment so am still suffering with pain and sickness.

The problem I have is that my sister-in-law invited me into a Christmas group on whatsapp (phone app which works like text messaging but uses data/WiFi. It makes sending photo's free for me). In the group was my entire family and my sister-in-law has said how much her and the children want to see me on Christmas day. Not only that but they want me to stay there and eat Christmas dinner. My physical health is bad and I don't know if I should risk even going over because I don't want my niece and nephew to see me in any pain.

What do you suggest I do?
I had considered tanking myself up on painkillers (not ones that were prescribed at the hospital - because non were) and hoping for the best but that won't cure my sickness, and also now diarrhoea.

I know it would be easy to say I'm ill but the kids have been so upset lately and to add to it I haven't bought any presents for them.

Help!

[Mamyalynne]

I can only say what I would do in your situation - I would explain I wasn't well enough to attend but try to arrange to speak to the children by phone/skype so they can hear you cheery (if for only a few moments).


They will be distracted by all the Christmas goings on and hopefully not get too upset.


Whatever you decide, I wish you well.

[andres]

Don't they know that you are ill? Surely they will understand that the best place for you under the circumstances is in your own home.

[Dizmo]

andres: They think that because I'm out of hospital I am better. It isn't as simple as it seems.

If I stand in their shoes I look out and see that I have a Grand Father who is ill in hospital with leukaemia, an uncle who is constantly in and out of hospital and at Christmas just want my family by my side. I'm going to have to go round aren't I :/

I just don't know how to dodge the meal.

[ladybirder]

Diz you asked the ? Two answers both advising best not to go. And what do you do???? Why ask?

[Dizmo]

andres: I'm aware that you aren't aware of my previous shortcomings so...

The best place for me isn't home either, it's in hospital having this damn cyst sorted out. I'm refraining from going back though, at least until I do my volunteering at the soup kitchen - yes I know, that's another hurdle I have to jump over.

I'm using my brain this time though, before I get to the point I need the emergency services I'm going to jump on a bus to Sheffield and walk into the Northern General A&E department (the hospital that specialise in my problems) and get admitted there. That way I can't be fobbed off any more! The downside is that my family won't be able to visit because it's a little too far to travel at night. Swings and roundabouts.

[Dizmo]

ladybirder: You've lost me. What?

[scorpiojo]

Does your SiL live nearby? Could she bring the kids to see you for an hour?

[Mamyalynne]

Sorry my reply was no help - I repeat, whatever you decide I hope it works out.

[Pooka1950]

Dizmo you certainly seem to have had a rough deal recently so why not put yourself first this time. As has already been said you can skype or phone instead of actually going out - if you don't feel up to a family gathering then stay at home!

[scorpiojo]

Sorry, didn't see the bit about the N Gen.

[Dizmo]

scorpiojo: It's a 20 minute walk even in my condition so yes they also live in the same Village. I was thinking about walking round after they had eaten and then just leaving when it got too much. I asked the question because generally the advice given here is very good.

In the past when I've been ill I've just said yes to them every time and forced myself to go but this time I hesitated and have yet to give my SiL an answer. She isn't purposely putting pressure on but I feel I want to see the children - even if it means going empty handed.

[Dizmo]

Pooka1950: Thanks

Mamya: Your advice is never pointless (or no help), I appreciate your thoughts, as I always have. I just think I'd end up punishing myself if I was to not go.

Should I just tell my brother and SiL that I will come round for an hour and then leave before I get too uncomfortable? and tell them not to promise the kids that I'm going round or even mention it at all?

[gness]

Look, Sunshine......you need to stop worrying about everyone else....relax and get over the last couple of weeks.....you'll only set yourself back and if you are with the family and take very ill...that'll be their memory of the day...so..

Feet up and set some fun quiz questions for the kids....adults too if you like... Make a list of silly jokes.....

Put an adult in charge.....and at their dinner they have the presence of Uncle Giz....throughout their meal your jokes and quiz questions are read out....."Uncle Giz says....Uncle Giz wants to know" Make it as fun and daft as you can....

With the promise if you like of little prizes to be awarded when you are well?

How does that strike you......which is what I will do if you don't settle down now and behave yourself for your own good...... ;-)....

Love Gx

[Dizmo]

My nephew kicks his friends off the Xbox when ever I go round and ignores them. He says "I'm playing with my uncle now". I have to tell him to not ignore his friends and that I'm not going anywhere.

[Mamyalynne]

Your final option seems sensible, tell her to keep quiet and you'll try to pop round for an hour to surprise the children.

That way they aren't disappointed if you can't manage it.

[scorpiojo]

They'll understand that you can't magic up presents if you've been in hospital. Leaving when you've had enough sounds good...surely they wouldn't want you throwing up while they're eating?

[Dizmo]

Cheers dness ;p that's for gerrin my name wrong lol.

I will promise them presents after the new year. At least then I will know what they really want and haven't already got 3 of.

[gness]

oooops.....sorry...though you could put Giz and have them wondering who the hell Uncle Giz is!

[Dizmo]

You know I'm just remember some really good news that I was given whilst in hospital by my mum.

As soon as I get my driving licence back, she is going to put me on her land rover insurance :)

Only because she needs someone to driver her back from the pub with all the dogs after she has walked the long way through fields and took them to the pub for crisps. Whilst she sits there with a pint of hand pull bitter.

That has cheered me up a little bit. I completely forgot because of the amount of painkillers I was on whilst in there.

[Dizmo]

Gness, my nephew knows the name Dizmo, I have used it when gaming on his tablet. My niece doesn't even call me uncle most of the time, just Stuart. Unless my brother is there and he corrects them "It's Uncle Stuart to you" lol.