are you flirting with me?

[trouble16]

i no this might sound really strange, bt i find it really dificult to tell if any1s been flirty with me.i can neva tell wat to look out for in a txt msg?, or ther body language.

im only asking this because ive met a guy i really like and i can neva tell, hes very sutle in the way he is arouond me, bt we txt each otha alot. what are the main things/most obvious to otha ppl i should be looking out for from him in txts and when im with him body contact etc?help!

[mr. piper]

As a bloke, if i was flirting, there would be a deal of eye contact, with little or no blinking, my body language, i would sit or stand fairly close and have my arms and legs open enough to create a space like a fence that i am making available for you to be in, giving you my soul attention. my conversation would be so that you are not having just to listen but giving you an oportunity to join in. i would make obvious glances at your body which is part of the game and try to make sure your efforts to look nice are apreciated. txt messages are different you can be less inhibited so i could be more direct. best of luck  

[trouble16]

so what i have noticed was a lot on body contact, sitting,(like you say) with legs apart so that there is leg contact, and sum eye contact, but my mates see more then me, they often say, "he just looked back at u". they often say as soon as he sees you he changes his posture and stuff.

is this all gud or am i jst over reacting and stuff.???? plus dont u think its a tad strange to ask if u wanted to meet up on valentines day?(i was working by the way, bt looking bk on it now i would have scivd work to b with him!) thanx dude!

[stevie21]

Sorry for trivialising this thread but "giving you my *soul* attention" made me laugh. It sounds much deeper than I think (hope) it's intended to.

[mr. piper]

okay stevie21, you are right about the "soul attention". it is because i use a very old flash screen programe that gives me words in a list to choose from i just let that one slip through!

trouble16, are you sure that you aren't hiding from the fact that you can see how you are being flirted with? if your pals can see it you should be able to. have confidence in yourself, i bet you are gorgeous and the lads like you, its easy to pretend you can't see their advances, then you won't have to deal with them, specially as you wouldn't like to get hurt. i am not being unkind and i am not judging you, but if you try being a bit bolder you will be ok i am sure!

[trouble16]

well i knew that the whole body contact was flirty, but i just needed to know from a guys p/o/v wat it could mean and if i ws right. but thanx 2 u, ive been watching him and stuff and i think that its all coming together and give a week or so. things should start to click into place. but one more question, how long would u wait afta u met a gal,decided u really liked her and wantd to make a go of it and asked her out?and wat would u say, just curiosity!!????!!!!:-) thanx!!

xx

[mr. piper]

I think it would be easier to know what to say if i had spent some time with the girl, then i would have some idea whether it was worth asking her out in the first place, what you have to consider(i hope i don't sound like a schoolteacher gabbing on) is if you are hoping for more than a close friend on a long term basis, or just a chap to make up the crowd and fill in the gaps. if you are that taken by a person there is nothing worse than being blown out. i would probably start by telling her "I am glad you are here today, its nice to know i will see you when i come out."  Then after a bit of chit chat just to make sure it was the best time to ask, and her family aren't all dying, i would say "I like all the talks we have had,  i really like to see you, do you want to go somewhere with me one night, just us, if you do, can it be soon because i am not going to be happy until you say yes." Then looking for her reaction, give her a moment and say "so that's settled then, all you have got to do is tell me when and where"  And then if she says yes i would be careful not to smother her yet make sure i was giving her the right amount of attention so that she knew i was serious. when it was time to say goodbye i would ask for a kiss just to see if she meant what she said, but no pressure. if you have to force the issue it will never work. If it feels right to you, then go with it. always remember people will never do just what you want them to, try not to expect too much of someone you don't really know, and remember lads can be very shy and they are not always just after one thing. i really hope this chap is what you want if not then move on. you will be fine.

These are my thoughts i hope they help. Sorry it took so long to reply.

GOD BLESS