why am i still single?

[trouble16]

is it no wonder im still single cos i dont go to night clubs??? most of my mates go to them and theyv got bf and i love been in a serious relationship! im not been stupid or immature im just concerend for my life and sanity!

[barbaraF]

How old are you?  There is an alternative to night clubs you know - believe me I know what it is like to be single but why do all men just assume this is the only place you can "get off".  I see loads of men in the supermarket, in the park, on the train, some of them even smile but they would never dream of chancing a chat up in these circumstances - just in pubs/clubs - WHY?????

[WoWo]

ever considered talking to them rather than waiting for them to make the first move?

[boobesque]

night clubs are most of the time not the best place to pull, most people in there are generally after a fumble and thats it!

i met my bloke in the pub where he worked, saw him, liked him, gave him my number and voila four months later we were living together!

before then i asked out someone who lived near me i thought was cute, or met at work, soo many places!

[Artful]

Times must have changed (gosh, that makes me sound sooooo old!). I agree with WoWo - that's how it used to work anyway in parks, the supermarket, wherever. Just a jolly remark. Tell someone it's nice to see a smile! Try it, trouble.

[David H]

Only to echo the previous answers, night clubs worked for me till I was about 25, then found most people of any quality at all paired off and the older people left were the hard core desperadoes. Apart from on and offline agencies, which I found pretty random, there's not been a special way to meet the opposite sex since then, the best alternative being when a friend sets me up but that relies on them actually knowing someone in the first place. Just keep frequenting groups where people get talking, whatever the interest. Dancing lessons, tennis etc, whatever you prefer. And definitely women making first moves will make the world a happier place. I'm still single and it's no fun having to do all the work myself.

[lissyl78]

Agree with the others in that nightclubs are generally full of people looking for someone to fool around with for the night but thats not to say you couldn't meet someone there who also wants a serious relationship.

Two bits of advice that might help: firstly, if you see someone you like the look of - no matter where you are, bus, shop, pub, pay them a compliment. If it leads to conversation, great, and if it doesn't, you've lost nothing. Secondly, most people, esp. men, run as soon as they know someone is after a serious relationship. Relax, play it all by ear and see where it goes. Just enjoy meeting new people and I'm sure Mr Right will be amongst them somewhere! x

[WoWo]

Just to clarify, my comment about asking a man out was directed at barbaraF rather than trouble16. But it still stands.

[Otrere]

Why does it matter? Why do you think you HAVE to have a partner?

By the way, I've never met any of my boyfriends at a nightclub - only people interested in a quick grope. Usually have met them through mutual friends... or at work! I met my hubby at work!

[trouble16]

well im 17 and i met my ex at  work. but i find this other guy atractive wer he works but i always think cos he's working you cant do or say anything. exchanging numbers etc.ive learnt something about nightclubs thanx to you lot, their not what i thought! i jst hate been on my own. im a relationship kinda gal, although i love been with my mates i like the security, cuddles and that general feeling when your with your man.

[Alan2]

Are you a minger?

[twiglet4frog]

stupid question that alan2? i mean when u look in the mirror does it lie to u as well?

my advice is that u shouldnt go on too strong about relationships, that freaks guys out too soon into knowing someone, bt also stand your ground over one nighters and fumbles..aim for a go out and have a laugh approach with a bloke and see what happens u are both happy with and hopefully it will develop.

As for where to find them, they are everywhere from gyms to shops, tains and buses to colleges and workplaces. Men however are finding women intimidating these days and i know millions, including myself are wishing so much a nice girl approaches us and chats us up.

If u have the confidence then go for it. I would love to have a girl smile at me, come over and chit chat a little about something, then ask if i fancied going for a drink or a coffee somewhere sometime, offers her number to me if i seem interested and asks me to txt her very soon!

[Otrere]

TWIGLET4FROG (where did that name come from anyway?!!) I agree entirely. Although as a female I've never had the nerve to ask a chap out (shame on me), it was actually me that befriended my now husband before he befriended me (though he did fancy the a*se off of me apparently!).

Why don't you go and chat to a guy TROUBLE16? What's to stop you from making the "first move"??

[monodge]

just to reassure you on the general "making the first move" phobia that so many people have- i went over to a guy in  a pub recently because  i thought he was very cute (there were no other girls around him so the coast as clear!) and i asked him if he'd mind terribly if i sat on his knee!VERY cheeky of me i know! but he didnt mind in the least & we had a great time & exchanged numbers!

I'd fully stand by the saying "you're here for a good time,not a long time!"

[jackie0]

Monodge-wow-that was really bold of you, but good stuff.Touble16 I certainly alos agree night clubs mostly host those that are looking for a fumble.Gyms,squash grounds,tennis grounds,COLLEGES, workplaces are certainly good places.Nothing stops you and any guy u fancy exchanges numbers at work as long as he's game.Although I also belive some guys may feel intimidated by girls comign to chat them up, esp. when they do not want commitment. But saying hi to a guy and smiling at them does not prove u are after them, so they may get the msg u like them which is good.