Scary Things Your Family Said/ Did when you were little

[natalie_1982]

I distinctly remember my nan singing a song about my grandad which went something like this:

Grandad (name) aint no good

Chop him up for fire wood

When he's dead we'll boil his head

And turn him into Lava Bread.

She's from Swansea, does anyone else know this song or have I got the words wrong?  I'm sure I wouldn't make this up, and I was 7 when Grandad died so would have been pretty young.  Oh, and she was joking, she didn't kill him.

[Otrere]

Good grief... I don't remember hearing any similar rhymes or sayings like this when I was little!!!??!?!

They're horrible things to say to kids!!!

[eupraxia]

My mother never had rhymes for me. When I told her I afraid of the dark she would say 'It's not the dark you need to be afraid of,. Its whats in it.'

Fancy telling a kid that.

[goldenboy]

my father once allowed me to watch a horror film when i was about seven, and then sent me to bed. He then proceeded to creep into the back garden with a polystyrene head used to display hats that he had 'decorated ' with red paint to resemble blood. He stuck this onto the end of a broom handle and then knocked it repeatedly on my bedroom window until I decided to investigate. Needless to say it scared the living sh1t out of me. 

[christal]

Natalie - I remember chanting this as a child and I am 64.

[christal]

I've just remembered another thing - my mother would put me in bed and say shut your eyes or the sandman will com and throw sand in them.  Terrified the life out of me!

[doyleycart]

I havent had an email toclick on

[rooftrouser]

When I was very young my grandfather answered a question about a castle we were visiting with "Nothing lasts for ever". In that instant everything fell into place and I suddenly got the whole mortality thing. Everything I loved was temporary and we were all going to DIE somewhen. The bottomless horror of that revelation never went away.

We also had a variation of "Chop him up for firewood" and "Tell tale tit, your tongue shall split" but those little horrors were nowhere near as disturbing as the truth.

[deever]

My grandfather would sing to me and his other grandchildren:

"(insert full name ) is no good
chop him(her) up for firewood."

he was kidding of course.
we are from upstate NY
if you google that phrase you can find this thread as well as other information about multiple songs' lyrics. It seems to be an old rhyme of sorts.

[Mary1228]

My mom used to sing the same song to me - I just googled it and came upon your question.

Mary Sullivan is no good chop her up for firewood - and she would make chopping action. It made me laugh