Opinions on people who say

[Ducati]

People who say "I speak my mind" do so, boastfully, as though it is an asset and a good character trait, when in fact (in my opinion) it is the exact opposite.

 

Am I right or wrong? (or a bit of both).

[GucciGal]

Hi Ducati, I think it's both, where appropriate to speak up and be counted is cool but I hate it when it's done in confrontational way i.e horrible Lesley who got booted out of BB recently. Hope that makes sense. ...

[netibiza]

I think it depends on how the mind is spoken.  I sometimes have to express an unpopular opinion (after all why agree with the masses if you don't), but I do it quietly without boasting, as after all it is only what I think:

[Ducati]

In my experience, people who say this generally use it simply as an excuse to be rude - I have more respect for people who use tact than people who are rude because they "speak their mind".

[littleoldme]

I think the point is how they speak their minds. Being honest with someone is all very well, but when someone shows a callous disregard as to whether or not their comments are going to hurt or upset someone, claiming "I speak my mind" is no defence.

Put it this way. Imagine the scene - Mrs Ducati has dragged you out clothes shopping. While you wait in the shop, she does her thing in the changing room and emerges beaming happily in what she thinks is a wonderful outfit. You think it's horrible. She asks you your opinion. Do you say:

A. Oh that's lovely darling, it really suits you.
B. Erm, well, it's nice enough, but, um, it doesn't go with your beautiful eyes/do your figure justice (I should point out here that I don't know Mrs Ducati) :-)
C. Good God, what the hell have you come as? It's hideous. I wouldn't be seen dead accompanying you in public wearing that monstrosity.

A would make Mrs D happy, but would be chickening out. B would let her down easily, tempering her disappointment with the idea that she deserves something better. C would be "speaking your mind". Ouch.

[littleoldme]

Oops - crossed with the last two posts. That's what verbal diarrhoea does for you :-)

[Ducati]

Shamefacedly, I would go for option A - which I know is very very cowardly..........................however...................it would mean the shopping would be quicker!!!

[CarolG]

have to agree Ducati. People seem to get away with being rude by following their comments with "i'm just speaking my mind" or "being honest". I was at a party once and this woman was (what i felt to be) rude for the entire evening, i was so angry but all her friends made excuses by saying "oh, thats just the way she is" what, so that makes it ok?

Of course its different if somebody asks for your opinion on something and you have to give it honestly, they may not like the answer but they have requested your honest opinion - but there are tactile ways of doing this.

[misska]

Yes, I agree too. Some people do use this as a licence to be insensitive. I honesty is definitely one of the traits I respect most in a person. But it has to be combined with a sensitivity for the feelings of others, because you can't be 100% honest, 100% of the time and tact is knowing when not to be.

[mystress]

I saw a wonderful fridge magnet recently,which sums up my answer.

"I believe everybody is entitled to my opinion"! LOL

[David H]

There is a huge differenve between honesty and rudeness, and every character I've ever seen (mainly on BB) has simply said this as an excuse to be as vulgar and crass as they like. It didn't pull the wool over my eyes, or many other people.

Honesty is another thing, look at Derek, he's honest and speaks his mind, and I can't see him ever slipping into the other type of directness. The others are just common, like the ones who say 'I'm mad, me', no, that's your lower-class euphemism for stupid and probably drinks a lot. Sorry, I've been watching too much Kemal tonight and it's rubbing off. But I can answer questions without referring to BB the whole time.

[Dark Angel]

People who say "I speak my mind" and do it boastfully are usually rude people.