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If you were mayor...

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jamesy boy | 21:37 Mon 22nd Aug 2005 | People & Places
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I live on Teesside, where there are two elected mayors: Ray "Robocop" Mallon, the no-nonsense hardman mayor of Middlesbrough, and in Hartlepool, they have(had?) a man who used to dress up as a monkey as the Hartlepool FC mascot (he ran with a policy of free bananas for schoolchildren and won by a mile!)

If you were mayor of your town, what policies would you introduce, sensible or not?

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Could have sworn bernardo would have been here by now. He'll be along.
Living at the seaside, I would ban all tourists from entering the town between February and December. I would enforce a strict dress code to keep out chavs, morris dancers, and anyone wearing beige (i.e 99% of pensioners). Anyone dawdling on the pavement, simultaneously eating an ice cream and pointing at things would be thrown off the pier. Any tourist found feeding the seagulls or parking in my space outside my house would face a firing squad. Apart from that, I have a fairly relaxed, easy going attitude to tourists....
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I'd have an escalator on those steps of yours, Thikasabrik!

Quite simple really.  I'd have my own private parking space right in Durham town centre.  I hate paying for parking.  Oh, and I'd make it illegal for pedestrians to move in vectors like rodents.

BTW, you can tell there's something funny going on in the North East when we have mayors like Robocop and Hangus.

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