how do get over a seven year relationship

[hellfire71]

how do you make a new start?

[woofgang]

one day at a time and with a great deal of difficulty. sadly the only way to do it is to do it.

Best of luck, tell us how things work out and come back if you want support

[maggie01]

I suppose you have to look at it like a bereavement. As woofgang says, just take one day at a time till you are ready to move on.

[henrymullen]

you get a seven year itch so give yourself a good scratch

[DirtyHabit]

I am sure you will find that each day becomes a little easier.
Good Luck

[{Dakota}]

Hi Hellfire,

I split from my husband after 9 years with him (5 of those marriage) and I can honestly say that it was the most difficult time of my life.

Unfortuantely, I have no wand to wave for you to make you feel better. All I can say that it *does* get easier as time goes on.

I spent the following 2 years going through all sorts of emotions, but with the support of my friends and family I got through it. It was such a gradual process in that to start with I would be crying for most of the day, then it progressed into being fine during the day and just crying in bed then one day I realised that I hadn't actually thought of him for a few days and now, he only enters my head when someone talks of him or he has made contact with me.

Another thing I found difficult was during this time, I had various boyfriends but I could never settle with them or feel completely comfortable in their company. This far down the line I realise it was because I was looking for a relationship that was exactly like how it was with my husband when the good times were good - that's never going to happen! So after eventually accepting that no two loves will be the same I have been able to move on and I am now happy with someone else.

I know I will always love my ex husband, but it's a different kind of love I have for him, like I do for a friend almost. There is no need for hatred to be there.

I hope this helps you, you know how to contact me if you want to talk further.

xxxxx

[WendyS]

Endings are always difficult, especially when you've gone through one door and there are no new beginnings in sight. It is simply a case of "one day at a time" and remembering that you still have a life as an individual, even if you no longer have a life as part of a couple. Value yourself for what YOU are and concentrate on the small things that give you pleasure. Allow yourself time to grieve for the good things that existed and look for opportunities to make new friends, learn new hobbies or skills. But also learn to accept that being alone for a while is not necessarily a bad thing. You may find that this time alone gives you a new insight on yourself which perhaps, as being part of a couple you never totally had time to explore.

And perhaps find a positive little poem which you can type out and keep by your breakfast table every morning to help you start the day in a positive frame of mind.

[lb24]

Dakota - how do you know at what point to give up giving the relationship more chances?