Definite Article

[waimarie]

Some 50+ years ago I was severely reprimanded by a senior member of the Common Room (female) when, in conversation, I referred to 'the wife'. Such was the impact of her wrath that I have never used the definite article when referring to 'my wife' since.

On the answerbank site I have noticed quite a number of entries using 'the wife' and wonder if there are oithers out there who may find this a little bit embarrassing.

[dotjhawkes]

It is more ignorant than embarrassing I would imagine waimarie, and I don't mean from a grammar point of view!

[mightyWBA]

I would imagine referring to ones spouse as" the wife",was probably one of the more polite desciptions of 'er indoors!

I just "yes m'lady to mine.

[Quizmonster]

'The' has been used in this way since the early 19th century. Even Winston Churchill - a Nobel Literature Laureate no less! - used it in 1901. He wrote: "I sent off an express to Patty and the Mother last night."
If the lady who reprimanded you is still available, I should tell her to withdraw her complaint forthwith. There is no earthly reason why you should not immediately reinstate this structure into your language usage. It is two hundred years old and perfectly harmless.

[gary baldy]

I use the expression 'the wife' in the hope it winds up silly pseudo feminists like your friend in the common room.
She's my wife i can call her what i like!
I can assure you 'the wife' is possibly one of the more endearing things i call her!

[jno]

feminists may perhaps be more wound up by 'my wife' since it implies you own her. All very well if she's the compliant Mrs Baldy no doubt...

[gw1]

I suspect that the phrase lack a certain amount of modern PC, however, surely the definite article is more acceptable than the possessive article?

[andy-hughes]

I understand what you mean gw1, but I think you are taking the grammar a little too literally here. To say 'my wife' is to refer to the woman who is connected to 'me' by marriage, and does not, i think, infer any suggestion of wonership or possession.

With reference to the question, a number of older people refer to family members as 'the wife, 'the daugher' and so on. i worked with one colleage for several years, and never found ou the names of his wife or daughter - only ever reffered to above.

I never call my wife 'the wife', I just don't feel comfortable with that expression, but I often refer to her as 'Head Office' - an adjective of which she is aware, and one of my friends refers to his wife as 'Central Planning' - both are terms of affection, and treated as such.

[waimarie]

I have been following this very closely and must thank everybody for their comments. It is interesting to see differing understandings of the term most of which are intended as endearments!!!

I think I go along with andy-hughes on his interpretation of the possessive but his thoughts on personal reference to his wife bring to mind my own frequent reference to my wife as 'Number One' often used in the same way such as "Carry on Number One"!!! (Strange though, I do not have a naval background!!)

Would there be any other uncommon names for partners out there (preferably able to get past our eagle eyed censors)???

[LeoMunro]

"Mai Skivay" works fine - if the Missus has a sense of humour!

[Glossopswift]

I asked Our Nellie about this and she didn�t mind and was surprised that someone found it offensive. Which was nice. I�d be quite happy to be known as �The Hubby�, as long as we both know our feelings towards each other I don�t mind what other people think.