Letting them down gently

[beenee]

Whats the nicest way to tell a hopeful suitor that you dont want to know them anymore ... This is not for bitchy little me, Im just curious

[Cactus]

I think when a woman says that she's eager to marry as soon as possible, then get to work on the 15 children that she eventually wants to have - that usually makes most men leave the hemisphere, not just the country. Yeah, that's probably the nicest way. Leave the man thinking that HE made the decision to leave, not the other way around. :)

[andy hughes]

The best way to avoid confrontation is simply to be unavailable - don't return phone-calls, always be busy when asked out, don't be keen to chat, avoid beng in the places where your 'suitor' can find you. This may provoke a 'Are you avoiding me?' question, in which case you can proceed to confirm that fact with as much, or as little tact, as you feel is necessary. Although you may not want to pursue a relationship, put yourelf in your suitor's position, and try to let them down gently. If you can let the other person walk away with their self respect intact, it's the nicest way to let them down gently.

[lisaj]

Personally, I think honesty is the way to go, then they'll respect you! There is nothing wrong with being perfectly honest about the fact that you simply don't find them attractive - lying or avoiding them on the other hand is likely to just pi$$ them off.

[sft42]

So Beenee you have found out how to find out how to tell if a guy like's you from us and now you want to know how to dump one without breaking and hearts on either side :>(Well i'm sorry but there's no easy way to tell someone that you don't like them, rejection is hard in any form no matter how it comes but from personal experience the only advice i can give is to do it as early on as is possible and not to drag things out to try to make things work if you know that it isn't going to work in your own heart. Best to have a clean break and let you both get on with your lives.....I hope this means that your clearing the deck to give little ol' me a chance to be your next suitor :>)

[beenee]

Cheers all: some really interesting answers there! Sft, man: This is not for me - I'm just curious and thought about asking people who probably have more experience behind them, Personally the word 'suitor' makes me cringe but there was no other way to get the question across. :o)

[SimonKeep]

Welcome to dumpsville, population you!